How rude is it to not respond to some emails or facebook messages?

Question

A lot of times my friends will email me or send me facebook messages, I'll read them when I don't have time to reply, and then forget they ever sent me anything. Then after a certain amount of time I feel like replying would be awkward. I feel like I'm always having to apologize for not responding - I do this a lot.

My question is, how bad is this? I've asked my friends, they don't seem mad, but how do they probably feel? Does this make me look really self-absorbed? To the point where they'd start distancing themselves from me? (we don't see each other often, so whenever we get together, we're all really friendly with each other)

Answer 1

it's not a big deal if they are your close friends. they should understand. and if they not you close friends who cares if it is rude or not.

Answer 2

It can be annoying not to have someone respond to your message. I don't know about rude, but it is pretty inconsiderate to do it to someone all the time. It makes them feel like you don't care about what they have to say or what they are doing and that you're too important to respond. They are already giving you a warning by distancing themselves pretty soon you may be deleted all together.

Answer 3

Tell them you can't reply to all their messages.

Answer 4

This has happened to me with a few "friends" of mine.  It wouldn't be a regular, "hey, what's up?" from me; I would ask them questions.  I'd know that they read it and had time to respond to it, but they didn't.  They did, however, respond to other people which really upset me.  Do you know what I did?  I deleted everyone who has ever ignored me because that's exactly what it is.  How do you "forget" someone asked you a question but you go on to the next?  Whatever.  It's incredibly rude and disrespectful to someone who takes time out to remember you and you ignore them.  I don't tolerate it.

Answer 5

You're a flake!

That's very inconsiderate and rude,

They sent you a message, so instead of leaving them hanging is to answer.

Make a memo if you have to GEEZ.

How would you like it if you sent someone a message and they left you hanging?..I'm sure you'd get irriated, especially if it's an urgent message.

It makes you seem inconsiderate, like they don't matter.

I went off on one of my friends for doing this.

I mean it makes her look self-absorbed, and inconsidate..

she just leaves people hanging/

I told her being busy isn't na excuse, I'm busy too!

There's a saying that states..you could be the president of the U.S, but if you truly care for someone, you always make room for them..

it's true, you not making room for them..

it's just  quick reply, geez,it makes you look like you don't care, like a bad friend-you're a flake!

Answer 6

I'm guilty of the same thing!

Don't worry, all your friends have offline lives too, just like you do, and so if you don't get back to them right away, they *should* be able to understand.

If they get upset because the message was allegedly "important" and needed an urgent reply, then they should have called you instead of leaving a message and waiting for an answer.

Answer 7

Not rude at all!

Answer 8

I actually do it a lot too. If there are any questions in the email (ie, how are you, what's up), even if they're the standard stuff like "'sup???" you should just try to answer that with like, "I'm fine I don't have time right now to write back- but how are you?" that's generally sufficient. If there's no questions and it's just a bit of chit chat then it's okay to let it go unanswered for a time, but a week at most. If you've ever sent an email like that, like just c**p about life in response to an email, it always feels good to know they listened and are giving you feedback by writing back- even if they just chat right back.

Answer 9

It depends on how you are approaching your use of facebook and email. Is this simply social or are you using these forms of communication for business?

In either case, you can set up boundaries or an autoresponder that explains that you only answer email once or twice a day between certain hours because of your work or class schedule. Explain that it's not personal and all emails will be responded to on a first come first serve basis.

You aren't self-absorbed. You have a life, a first life. What's to apologize for. If there's an issue, and these people are your friends, they'll let you know.

Otherwise, get back to living. You're okay.

Answer 10

Flag them or mark them as unread and come back to them later on when you do have time.  I understand you are busy, but eventually they may stop sending those e-mails and messages altogether.

Answer 11

i have the same problem. What i do is tell my friends that i'm a bit absent minded and that i tend to forget replying or think that i've already replied. The reply doesn't have to be an exact answer to everything they said, because some matters do get old after a while, so you could answer the mail in part and then talk about new things.

If you're clear and they're really your friends, they won't see it as rude.