How serious is domestic violence?

Question

I`ve been abused by my boyfriend now for over 6 months, Its getting worse, I have asked for opinions from friends and acquaintences and they don`t seem to be concerned. Some told me that it would be hard to find a man with three kids. Some ignore me and pretend not to here me. Is it ok to be verbally abused everyday? What type of physical abuse is ok. He has never hit me, but has seriously hurt me. Think he may have 2 personalities. He is good and evil. Any opinions and comments would be greatly apreciated. thanks.

Answer 1

Break up with him . You shouldn't have to put up with that.

Answer 2

It sounds like your friends are not terribly hip to what is going on.

No physical or verbal abuse is okay. In fact, each instance of abuse tends to increase in intensity. Do you want to stay with him until you get permanent black eyes?

Their usual method of operation is to start in with the put downs, then work more into verbal abuse as they also work towards separating you from your whole support structure (work, friends, church, family), then they go into beatings.

I suggest you get out of there as soon as you can. Kick that one to the curb.

Answer 3

Any kind of abuse is UNACCEPTABLE!!!  I'm the child of an abusive father.  I watched him abuse my mother for years and then at an early age I learned that I could protect her.  I then became the victim, but I was happier hating him for hitting me then feeling helpless watching him hit her.  Don't do that to your children!!!!  Show them how strong their mother is.  You can do it on your own.  So many women have.  And there's so many agencies willing to help women in your situation.  Usually there's a women in crisis agency associated with the local authorities who help women make it on their own.  You don't need to endure this, don't let your children endure this.  Prove to yourself and to your children that you are strong enough to be on your own and be happy!!!!  And when you gain that, usually, the right man finds you!!!!

Answer 4

dump him that's all i  have to say p.s. he's dumb

Answer 5

VERY

serious  considering you could end up in the morgue.. no abuse is ok at all

and for tose that say you wont find a man if you have three kids   they are wrong a real man will accept the whole package... get out of it before you or your kids end up hurt or dead

Answer 6

get out now while you can its not just harming you but its going to harm your children too as im sure you are very unhappy and your kids will pick up on this, to h**l with him he obviously is a very sick person and needs help. You on the other hand have a RESPONSOBILITY TO PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN FROM ANY KIND OF ABBUSE,PHYSICAL MENTAL OR EVEN VERBAL WHICH THEY ARE SO AWARE OF FROM A YOUNG AGE, and there are PLENTY of men out there willing to take on three kids and raise them as their own, you just have to find the right one and if you never settle or marry with any man it doesnt really matter as long as your kids are in a healthy enviorment,you can choose your enviorment but they cant and your desicions in life are what they have to grow up in. I am 24 now and have 2 boys with my boyfriend of 6 years and my mothers boyfriend used to beat her up and then he went on to me and it was verbal to start then physical then sexual, my mother knew nothing about it as he told me if i told anyone he would hurt my mammy again. PLEASE DONT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOUR KIDS. if hes their dad then go to the courts and get visitation rights,but they have to be supervised as he might bring his anger and frustration out on them. best of luck and please i cant stress enough for you and your kids to get out of there AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. good luck and stay safexxxx

Answer 7

Is you post for real???

1.  Domestic violence can be either the odd whack and mental abuse (this is the one I suffered from). right up to seriously hitting the person in question.   And generally doesnt stop....

2.  If you friends dont see a problem with it are they either idiots? or do they just not want to have to deal with the problem?

3.  Hard to find a man with 3 kids - totally untrue.  I believe that there is a good person out there for everyone.  If your man loves you he will take on the full package.

4.   It is not acceptable to suffer ANY verbal abuse.

5.  Or ANY physical abuse....  (Im slightly concerned you are even asking)

6.  Hitting is bad - even if it doesnt hurt - it shows that he is trying to wield power over you.

7.  Just think of the message you are sending your kids?  That it is ok to hit someone if they p**s us off??  If they are lads that it is ok to hit women??

Kick him out now - hes not going to improve, hes just a loser.

Answer 8

How serious is domestic violence? Its DEADLY serious- period. You need to get out of that house, take your children, and find the closest woman's shelter. If there isn't one, then go to your local police station and they will be able to help you. You owe it to yourself, and you have a responsibility to raise your children in a safe, loving environment. Anyone who tells you its ok, or acts as if its "no big deal" is not only NOT your friend, they are condoning that sort of behavior and in no way is that ever acceptable! Do you want your children to end up alone? That is what will happen, you can bet on it, if you don't get away from him TODAY. Any man who thinks it is ok to hit or verbally abuse a woman is not a man. A real man respects his woman. My favorite bible verse is 1 Corinthians 13:4. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..."

Answer 9

It only gets worse, love. Get out of that relationship.

Answer 10

Domestic Violence is extremely serious, even if it's just verbal. No physical abuse is EVER acceptable. Do you really want this guy to set an example for your 3 kids? Seriously, you'll find someone else who is decent. Kick this guy in the nuts and tell him to get the eff away from you. If your friends and family don't take issue with it, they are crazy. There is a lot of community support out there for women in your situation and I suggest you utilize that and find some new friends.

Answer 11

ok i know i may be young but seriously it doesn't matter wether it be physical, verbal, or emotional abuse ok because abuse  is abuse you u should not stand for that c**p from him or anybody you need to seriously leave because things will get worse an ur life would be miserable if things continue on this way yea i know it sounds hard but you no what its for the best  ( i wish u the best of luck )

Answer 12

You know what sweetheart. 3, 4,5 or a million kids does not stop u from getting a man. There is not a shortage on men and you seem to deserve a h**l of a lot better than being verbally abused. Your children are your first priority and forget what a man have to say about you and leave him alone. Verbal abuse will soon turn into physical abuse. Take it from a woman who seen her mother go from verbal abuse to physical abuse at the age of 3. Its hard for me to look at men the same way and u don't want to do that to your children. Leave now and worry about relationships later. God is on your side and you'll find a man who would love your children as if he was the man who planted them in you. I love you sista.... keep your head up.

Answer 13

So I am assuming that you are the one with the three kids. In Canadian law any abuse to you from him in front of the kids is also child maltreatment. ¨Where there is spousal violence, there is also child abuse in 30% to 60% of cases. Exposure to family violence is the most common form of emotional maltreatment of children.¨[1] You are a person and as such you deserve a loving and kind boyfriend not someone who yells at you or hurts you. No one deserves that! There is no OK limit of abuse!!

The impact of the abuse is obviously hurt your sense of self-worth and self-respect. Add onto that the amount of physical damage it is doing to you both from the stress and the physical violence, I would say it is a very serious problem. Now add that to the damage it is doing to the kids. Yes, if you leave him they will have that disruption, but don´t they also deserve a place of safety and security? A place where they can grow up not fearing about their parent being hurt at home?

I realize it may be hard to leave him and understand that it takes many women and men several tries before they leave their abusive partner for good.

If you need some more support, there are some numbers in your local phone book for area shelters, support centres and counsellors if you just want to talk over the idea with an impartial person.

Answer 14

Get away from this guy ASAP! Domestic violence is a matter of life and death and no one deserves to be abused or misused by anyone.

If this is a sincere question then why are you asking other people what you should do when you already know exactly what you need to do if you honestly care about yourself.

Answer 15

Abuse is NEVER okay.  It will keep getting worse.  You are responsible for your kids.  Get them out of there!  You are teaching them that this behavior okay by allowing it to happen!