How serious is someone who always talk about suicide for attention?

Question

My boyfriend has very low self esteem, and every time something goes bad, he will tell me how much he wanna kill himself. I'm so sick of it, and I wanna help him, but.. he got kicked out of his parents house, he's living with his grand mother but things aren't going well, so last night he left and he spent the night at the hotel.

He called me this morning, telling me it was better.. But I'm the only person he talk about suicide, and it's like none of his friends or family member care about him..

Every time something will go bad, it'll be "I give up on life, I'll just drive into a wall"

I know he needs help but He's 10 hours away from his home town now, I don't know how to help him, He doesn't wanna listen to me when I tell him.. He's stubborn and doesn't listen to people who wanna do the right thing, Like, tell him to get a job and stuff..

What can I do?

Answer 1

Tricky predicament - I guess how you respond to his threats depends upon how much you really care about him.  However, even if you think he is just talking suicide for attention never underestimate that he may actually carry it out.  From the brief history of personal relationships within his family it sounds fairly dysfunctional and that could snowball things.  What you need to be very careful of is that you do not become "the world" to him.  This is a burden that would be unfair for you to bare - however it can easily happen in such a situation.  IF you really care for him you need to tell him what he means to you as a boyfriend/friend etc. and that it would mean a lot to you if he would get some help as you are not a qualified professional and you just want to see him happy and healthy.  Sometimes ultimatums work in these situations sometimes they don't but if you are honest with him about how much this is affecting you and how much you care - you can't go wrong.  Just promise yourself that you are willing to walk away if it becomes a dangerous situation for you or it starts to severely interfere with your quality of life.  

Answer 2

i've considered committing suicide too, and right now...everytime something bad happens, i feel the same way as your boyfriend does. i read online that when people are in a state of depression or going through thinking about suicide, anything bad that happens can upset their mood completely and make them think of suicide again. if i were him, i'd actually like someone next to me, and talk with them about my problem face to face, not through the phone or internet. by phone/internet, even though the communication is there, i would still feel like i'm standing on my own ground with no support.

it also seems that he lost confidence about himself completely. make sure suicide is out of his mind before focusing on other problems. it's hard for someone who's thinking about suicide to worry about fixing other problems.

also, when i talk about suicide, i only told my parents. i don't try to seek attention through suicide. i was serious about it and attempted it a few days after i told my parents. not everyone who talks about suicide is seeking attention, but for those that are, it's not too hard to give them that attention before they actually do consider it as a serious option and do it.

good luck.

Answer 3

I would take him seriously.  He sounds like he may be depressed.  Try and get him to go see a psychiatrist or even his primary care doctor.

Answer 4

That's a real tough one.  Speak to a trusted friend of yours and see if between the two of you you can persuade him to get help.  Sometimes people like this actually follow through.  At least it won't be on your conscience that you didn't leave any stone unturned.

Good luck.

Answer 5

tell him to go to www.itsmysuicide.com and let out his anger, sorrow, and what not there. There's help there too with hotline numbers and such. He can always remain anonymous too.

Answer 6

He could just be saying it for attention or he could be saying it to u because he feels he really wants to but he is scared and wants u to talk him out of it!

But there is nothing anyone can do or say to help him really!

The only person that can help him is himself!

He has to be willing to get a job and get his life on track...

He might find that if he has a purpose such as a job he will have something to live for and he wouldn't be so depressed!

The only thing u can do is try and convince him that he needs to help himself...

To be honest if he was that serious about killing himself he probably would have already, i know that u know that but he doesn't know u know that so make sure he doesn't know u know coz he might just prove u wrong!

Answer 7

take him very seriously....I'm in the medical profession and this is what we call suicidal ideation. Even though he has not acted on it so far there is a good possibility he could and you do not want the guilt of knowing you could of somehow intervened. Call your nearest crisis center or mental health agency and try and get him some help before it's too late. Threats of suicide are never for attention it usually is the doorstep of an actual attempt.

Answer 8

He is drawing you into a corner with him - that is a very dangerous place to be. Next it will be YOUR fault (according to him) that he wants to kill himself and if you break up with him, he will kill himself, etc. Especially if he doesn't want to listen when someone tells him to get a job - that is classic behavior of someone who thinks things are everyone else's fault/responsibility.

If he doesn't want to get help, then there isn't a lot you can do about it. I would suggest to him that he find someone trusted to talk to like a therapist, counselor or clergy. Tell him that talk of ending his life is too painful for you to hear about and he should stop talking about it with you, since you're not a licensed professional.  

Answer 9

Usually people that talk about are just wanting attention. You say every time something bad goes on he starts talking that way. He needs some encouraging and also a job if he doesn't have one. Depression might also be in the scenario. If you are the only person he talks to about it I would tell him that you are going to contact the mental health and get him evaluated. He might need to talk to professional about these feelings. Some people actually do commit suicide after they can not get no relief of the bad feelings going on in their life. Try talking to the local mental health about it. Be aware they might contact law enforcement if has ever said "I am going to kill myself". It is required of them to do so. If he has ever said that to you, then you should really contact someone, that kind of stuff is to be taken seriously.

Answer 10

tell him that you dont want him taking about any more suicide or eles your really going to start taking him seriously and call a therapyist she can talk it out with them and    are you going to dump him??? cause i kinda think you should but just NOT right now when hes having all theese troubles in his life =] goodluck and hope this helped! =]