How should I answer this assumption or suggestion that I find to be less than favorable?

Question

I'm in my mid 20s and I see more and more people my age(or slightly younger) having kids, something I've been recently growing wistful of.

I went to the hair salon yesterday. The girl who did my hair was very nice and a good conversationalist, so I don't think she meant any harm nor offense. This girl was my age, and later it was revealed that she's married with 2 kids of her own.

A good part of our convo was about how I really want to buy a house, esp since the market is good and my rent keeps skyrocketing to rip-off proportions. She related and said that she's looking to buy too. Please note: Now I've been obsessing about homebuying even more than I've been obsessing about babies. I get offended any time someone implies that I'm not "ready" or "capable" to buy a house. Also, during our convo, I never specified that I was indeed childless.

Then she asked, "Well, since you don't have any children, what's wrong with you just continuing to rent for a while longer?"

:(

Answer 1

I would just smile and play nice.  The fact is that you are doing the right thing.  It is so much easier to buy a home when you are young, and child free.  There is so much expense in haveing childs that all your saved money would go to that.  Now you can get settled into a nice home, met Mr right get married if that's what you want and then have babies.  Your in the right here.

Answer 2

Don't worry, she doesn't even know you.  I don't know how she could have been able to tell that you don't have kids.  And if you think you're wistful for a baby know - wait until you get in that house.  My husband and I own a home but are waiting on the whole baby thing (although I'm really running out of patience on that!) and as soon as we moved into our house, our parents, siblings, everyone manages to work the "when are you having a baby" question into the conversation.  Buying a house is the right thing to do now!  Maybe she was a tee wee bit jealous because she has more financial obligations with her kids and a harder time saving money... just a thought.  Good luck and def. get a house - rent is a black pit for your money and a house is a great investment!

Answer 3

If it bothers you that much, you could just say, "Well I'm not sure what having kids or not having kids has anything to do with buying a house.  This is something I've been wanting to do for awhile and I'm going for it."  

Honestly though she was probably just making conversation - and maybe she meant that you shouldn't feel pressured to buy a house because you're not tied down.  No harm.

Answer 4

Who cares what they think?  I bought a house at 23 then I met my husband and he had a house.  We sold his house and lived in mine.  Then we sold mine and bought a bigger house and now at 26 we have a 7 month old son.  

If you are ready for a house go for it!

Answer 5

Unfortunately, people (especially people who are already married with kids) sometimes think of milestones in a person's life as having to be in a certain order.  First you graduate from school.  Then you get married.  Then you have kids.  Then you buy a house.  Since a lot of people do it in that order, it becomes the social norm.  However, I know plenty of successful single women who own their own house, and they're totally happy, just building equity and planning for their own future, rather than waiting for some white knight to rescue them.

I don't think she meant any harm, though.  She probably was genuinely puzzled as to why a single woman with no kids wanted all that space?  Parents usually think of everything in terms of their kids, and they can see why a house would be beneficial if you had kids and needed a yard for them to run around in, and multiple bedrooms and lots of storage space for all their clothes and toys, but they don't see why a woman with no kids would need to have as much room as a house allows.  She probably was just thinking about it from her point of view.  Don't take offense.  Good luck on the house AND the future babies someday!

Answer 6

you sound quite sensible apart from the getting upset by others' comments- buy the house first then get the kid- that would be the best way round surely?

and do things at your own speed not at the speed of others, most of my friends are in their 30's and still no marriages or babies, a couple of them do have houses though...

stop measuring your life against others, just do it your way!

she probably knew you didn't have kids because you didn't mention any!!!

Answer 7

is it because you might be ugly and they can't imagine you having children?