I feel really terrible. Tonight I went over to my buddy's apartment to have a few beers and watch television and they have a new kitten who is only a few weeks old...maybe 5 weeks. They are in the process of training it and one of the things they do not want the cat doing is sitting underneath the reclining chair...where I was sitting tonight.
I was drinking beer with my buddy and his girlfriend and we were all having a great time, but the cat snuck underneath the chair again and I had brushed him away several times but he just kept coming back. Finally the girlfriend got on the ground to pull him out from under the chair and I leaned the chair back so she could see. Somehow, we think the kitten got scared and ran towards the back of the chair and became caught in between two wooden beams. Instantly, I saw the girlfriend's face contort into a terrible image [like that of "The Scream" by Edward Munch] because she could that the kitten had wedged itself into a deadly position in the chair. It was being crushed by the beams. I heard the kitten cry out and I instinctively got up out of the chair and as I did this, it put EVEN MORE pressure on the poor kitten. In a split second the entire room was in panic. We flipped the chair over and the kitten's back was being forced into almost a 180 degree angle because of the strange arrangement of beams underneath the chair. For several seconds we tried to understand how to release the cat as easily as possible, but we couldn't do it and the cat just cried along with both of my friends who were in pure shock. Finally, after about 10 seconds my buddy was able to forcible push the kitten through to the other side but he and his girlfriend were both scratched deeply by the scared kitten. As soon as the kitten was free he hobbled away on 3 legs. It looked like his leg was broken or dislocated at least.
The cat is ok now (according to a text message from my buddy). They took it to the vet and it is going to be ok but I don't know if it's broken a leg or what. What I do know is that I feel absolutely sick over the whole thing. I apologized several times while I was there and they said that it wasn't my fault and there was nothing I could have done, but this doesn't make me feel any better. I kind of felt like, from the beginning, that there wasn't really anything I did terribly wrong to the kitten, and I was able to forgive myself for that. I have been in life and death situations with other animals before so the accident was not nearly as traumatic on my friends. What bothers me most is that I feel like I really hurt my best friend because I was being irresponsible. The looks on their faces...I NEVER want to see my friends in pain like that again! They were absolutely terrified they were going to lose their new pet to an incredibly disturbing accident. I don't know whether I could have done anything different, but I might have not jumped out of the chair if I was sober.
My question is, even though they have both said it wasn't my fault I still feel awful about the whole thing and I would like to apologize but I don't know how. I feel bad for seeing them endure such a traumatic experience and I can't help but feel like it's my fault that they both went through what they described as "the most ****** up thing [they] had ever seen." (It was disturbing, to say the least, the cat twisted itself into an hideous and awkward position that just looked painful and it was crying for its life). I can't just say "I'm sorry" again because I know that they will say it's not my fault and I won't feel any resolution. Am I being selfish? What can I do to express my genuine apology? Maybe I shouldn't be thinking about my own feelings and I should just try to comfort them? It was so awkward after the accident I couldn't even stay in the apartment because I was not really phased but my two friends were both a mess. The girlfriend was crying hysterically and my buddy was trying to comfort her the best he knew how, but there wasn't really anything I could do to make anyone feel better. I felt like they just wanted me to leave and not break anything else. I don't know if they *really* felt that, I that's how I felt so I just left. What would you do? Any ideas are welcome.
Thanks,
J
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