How should I deal with my swearing 3 year old ?

Question

Right it first happened a few weeks ago, I told my little girl that it was bath time and she replied "no im not having an effing bath mummy". me and my bf were shocked by this and our first reaction was to laugh at her. I know that was the worst thing we could have possibly done but being put in that situation it is hard. I told her it was naughty to say that word and not to do it again. Anyway she has been swearing more and everytime I tell her off but her dad just laughs at her and its really getting me down. He tells me to chill out and shes only little, it doesn't matter but thats my point, she is only little and she shouldn't be using that sort of language! It makes me look like a bad parent but I certainly dont use that sort of language myself infront of her. Me and my bf dont swear infront of her but it is hard as most of the people she is around are friends of me and my bf and its hard trying to get a group of nineteen year old boys not to swear. I dont know what to do to make her stop swearing. Any ideas?

Answer 1

the first thing you have to do is stop bringing your friends who swear around her, or tell them that when she is around they need to watch their mouth.  She will only keep picking up more if you keep bringing them around.  And secondly, when she does say it, say in a calm (not laughing or yelling) voice that that is not a nice word.  Leave it at that, unless if she asks why, you could just tell her that some words are just not nice to use.  Dont make a huge deal out of it or she will continue to say it, she loves getting a reaction, so if she doesnt get one, she will stop saying it.

Answer 2

OK, first off you need to talk with your husband because when he laughs at her, it encourages her to do it and tells her that it's ok. Second, you need to make a consequence for her action, she is three now and time-outs are perfectly acceptable. the general rule is one minute for every year they are, so she's three, she gets three minutes on time-out. you also need to designate a very boring place for her time-out, like the corner or something like that because sending her to her room is a fun place and also is where she goes to sleep, so it will put the message in her head that bed time is a negative thing, then you will have a whole new mess on your hands. you also have to stick to your guns on the three minute rule, set a timer that she can hear and let her know that if she talks, moves, or otherwise does anything while on time out the time has to start over. be tough!! dont be afraid to be tough either! you want the behavior to stop, then you have to get really tough. Hope this helps and good luck

Answer 3

Then don't expose her to that.  Normal 3 year olds do not swear.  You're right, it makes you look like a bad parent.  If your friends can't watch their language around your daughter then find new ones.

Answer 4

You're worried about a tap on the hand being child abuse and yet you stick her in the cupboard for time-out?  Your boyfriend thinks it is acceptable for three year olds to use the f-word?  The two of you need to take some parenting classes and fast before you really eff this kid up!

Answer 5

I would tell your boyfriend to stop laughing at her when she swears, shes an innocent girl who will be going to preschool and the teachers will not approve of that language. Another thing, you said that your bf's friends swear in front of her? I would tell them that shes starting to repeat things and to not swear around her. Tell your bf that if it continues to happen, they are not to be around her. When your daughter does swear, explain to her that its a naughty word and that we dont talk like that. Keep telling her that and she will learn not to say that. Dont disipline her, its not her fault she heard those words and why she cant say it if people shes around can say it. Good luck, and keep nicely explaining to her not to say those bad words.

Answer 6

when she says       that   tap  her  on the    hand  say  no no and   put her in   time  out  

Answer 7

time outs on the stairs is fine but I'm worried that you put her in the cupboard. and because your the mom and hes that dad  its your job as a parent to speak up and tell the kids to stop using those words around my daughter or you can stop coming over.

and when you put her in time out

first tell her we don't use those words and then put her in time out and tell her why, each time she gets up put her back with out showing any emotion until the 3 mins is up.

Answer 8

For the sake of your child,  quit hanging out with the trailer trash  

Answer 9

The problem seems to be her dad, not your daughter. She can't help what she's doing. She may know it's bad but she's getting positive feedback from her father so it makes her feel good. Then she sees other people doing it do she mimics.

Once you and her dad are on the same page and she sees it, it'll be easier getting her to stop. Sounds like she doesn't care about time outs so you'll have to take things in your own hands, literally. Don't give out any baby taps either, she needs it to physically hurt since she doesn't seem emotionally affected (other than thinking it's a fun game) by punishment. I'm not saying you need to throw her across the room or beat her with a shoe, but just make it unpleasant for her. She'll figure it out once she realizes she doesn't like what follows every time she drops an F-bomb.

edit: yes, I understand lots of people don't like to spank, but consider how kids of the past compare to kids today. I was spanked when I screwed up but I never turned into a violent kid who beat up everyone who didn't agree with me. Kids these days, in my opinion, don't get beat enough and that's why they're spoiled and do things like curse when they're 3 because no one gives them punishment that makes the bad behavior not worth it. I mean, to tell you she's not taking a f-ing bath; it's not just the swearing, it's the outright defiance. She's testing you and she won. Spanking is only something to be used as a last resort, so I'm not saying you should use it for every little infraction she makes. But when there's something that is totally unacceptable, then you have to buck up and be a parent. At 3 years old, there's only so much reasoning you can do with her. She may understand she's doing something bad but she won't care since the consequences are of no concern to her. And if you can't take that next step in her discipline (or at least try), then enjoy having a foul-mouth toddler. Don't wait until she calls your mom or someone important to you a b*tch or that she isn't going to give her a f-ing hug (or whatever) before finally nipping this swearing problem in the bud. You won't be teaching her violence, you'll be teaching her common etiquette (i.e. how to talk to people) and respect.

Answer 10

well try really hard not to laugh when she says it..i cant think of any really good ways because it would be mean to punish her too much since she heard it from your freinds..idk if you just tell her that little girls arent supposed to say that then she may stop good luck my two year old neice kept saying bast*** the other day and we never realized what she was saying until she said it about five times it was really funny because she was saying it into this thing that you say something into it and replay it and it sounds funny so she kept doing that and then i was like is she saying a bad word and her mom was like omg and she just told her that little girls dont say bad words like that and threatened to have to go home if she said it again and she didnt say it again..anyways good luck!!