How should I deal with my teacher's aide?

Question

Last year was my first year of teaching. I have a bachelor's degree in early childhood and am working on my master's for special education. I teach preschoolers for my local school district.

My problem is with my teacher's aide. We got along very well throughout most of the year until I disagreed with something that she said. Then she started criticizing everything that I said or did. /For several days she did not talk to unless she had to, and then it was to criticize me. The children could tell that something was wrong. School will be starting for me in about a week and I have to go back with her. I do not want to be harsh, but I do want to let her know that I will now allow her to speak to me the way that she did, nor to ignore me either. I want a successful school year for my children. How should I approach her?

Answer 1

I am concerned by the behavior of both of you. I am going to make some assumptions here. But, based on the way you wrote your question you seem to be under the impression you are superior to your aide, that is a dangerous road to travel. Your aide likely has far more experience than you and if she feels belittled or unappreciated you will lose out on her expertise. It appears you touched a nerve with her and she is being a little immature in her response to it. Remember, you are a first year teacher, and to be totally frank, that means you are clueless as to how a real classroom works.

As for how to approach her, be honest. Tell her you sense there is tension between you and you want to collaborate with her to find a solution so you both can focus on what is important, the kids.

More importantly, support staff (AKA Classified staff) are not your subordinate in any sense of the word. You seem a bit arrogant by stating "I will not allow her to talk to me that way" I would not have the audacity to say that about anyone except a student. Tread lightly, you are very green in the field of education, and she likely has far more power at your school site than you do, especially since you are battling the misguided stereotype that preschool teachers are glorified babysitters and easily replaced by anyone with a pulse (please note, I said this was a misguided stereotype, it is not my opinion)

Answer 2

I was a pre-k teacher's aide for 3 years before I became a special education teacher.  It sounds has if your teacher aide has a lot of experience. The best way to work with personallities like that is to give her some ownership.  For example, let her come up with the activities for her rotation group.  Let her help with lesson planning.  Also, put here name on the door too.  When you talk about your class make sure you say our class.  The best way for this to work is to work collaboratively in a respectful way.  Remember, your job title doesn't define you, you define yourself.