How should I deal with the anger and frustration I have toward my lazy mooching older brother?

Question

My older brother is 21 and lives with me and my parents. He has no money,no job, and a bad smoking habit. He has no ambitions, goals, or motivation. Since he moved back in he has been begging both me and my parents for money which he uses mainly for cigarettes. He owes myself,my parents, my baby sister, his friends, and other family members money. He takes my car without asking and runs all the gas out of it. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! He has no place to go but I can't stand him living here. He has one more time to do something stupid and im gonna seriously hurt him. I tried argueing and yelling and hiding money and even trying to talk to him. Nothing seems to be working and I can't escape this anger and I don't want to put my brother in the hospital. Help!

Answer 1

Don't lend him any more money and don't let him use your car.

Other than that - leave the poor guy alone.

Try to ignore him and live your own life.  

Answer 2

Your older brother is 21-years-old, he's a grown man, but yet he isn't doing anything positive with his life. It seems to me that your older brother is taking everyone for granted, just for his benefit. You and your parents have to set the boundaries with him by not giving him any money so he can purchase cigarettes. Also, keep your car keys out of his reach, so he doesn't have to drive your car without your permission. This is a difficult and tough situation to deal with, and its best not to lay your hands on your older brother because you don't want to make matters worse by placing him in the hospital. Only he can decide what to do with his life, he needs to get his act together, and start acting like an adult instead of a child. Besides, he's 21-years-old and he knows better!

Answer 3

For starters i would not give him any money to feed his smoking habit, second i would not leave my car keys any where near him, in fact i would hide them in a place where he should not be able to find them, i don't know if you can put a lock on your bedroom door, as that could act as a deterrent because if he tried to break into your room he would be causing criminal damage even in your own parents home, apart from that i don't really know what to advice, as he sounds a real pain, but at 21 he should know better.