How should I deal with the problems that I'm having with my asian mom?

Question

Every summer we always get into a huge argument over certain boundries that she places for me and now I've had enough. Last summer was the bottom line, we literally got into a physical fight. This summer I feel like its happening all over again.

I think the reason why we don't get along over the summer is because we see eachother a lot more and she has a lot more ways to control what I do and where I go. And every summer she always finds some excuse for me to "spend time with the family" aka stay home. I'm tired of it, and I feel like she's wrecking a lot of my friendships and destroying ones with those who I could potentially become good friends with. Having that I just came back from a trip on my own, my mom wants me to spend time with the family but the thing is I'm sick of it. I want to be able to see my friends and my best friend whom I haven't seen in about 2 and a half weeks cause I was gone for 1 week. My dad doesn't seem to want to get involved because it starts a fight between him and my mom.

What should I do? How can I convince her to allow me to spend time with others instead of ALWAYS staying at home? It's starting to put me in a state of depression and I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

Well asian moms tell you honestly they are very protective to their children in all aspect. lovelife, education, looks, etch.. You can talk to her explain to her that you are different from her ways as an asian.  Just tell her nicely how you appreciate her concern but you tell her that you want to be of your own sometimes.  Just tell her nicely that you are just enjoying with friends and nothing to be worry. You make a deal with her tell her what time you are going home Get her trust. This may help you.Hug her and kiss her and talk to her nicely "wow" you will see tomorrow you will be out having fun with your friends.

Answer 2

google: coping with a controlling parent

Answer 3

From my experience, Asians tend to stress the importance of family more then most. I am married to a Korean, but from the US. What you need to do is sit your mom down and have a talk with her. Ask her directly what her concerns are. Maybe she's worried or thinks you are off having s*x or something. If you can find out what specifically her concerns are, then it's possible to address them and let her know she doesn't have to worry about you.