How should I deal with this delicate situation between my boyfriend and my father?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for two years and we plan on getting married as soon as we save enough money to get a small place. We are both Catholic, he has been his whole life and I recently converted. My family was unhappy about my decision to convert, but most got over it except my dad. My father and I have never been close (well, not since I was 3 or so anyway) and so I try to pick my battles with him. My dad is really ticked off about me being Catholic and thinks it is my boyfriend's fault. They have never met. My boyfriend knows about my relationship with my father and has seen me cry and get angry with my father because of something he has said or done. I am not sure how I should deal with this situation and when/how they should meet. Basically, they hate each other but have never met or spoken. In addition, my father said he would never go to a Catholic service, but of course that's how I'll be getting married in a few years. When should I mention that to him? I sort of doubt he will even step foot inside the church, and I can't say I would want him to walk me down the aisle either - I'd rather ask my brother to do that.

Answer 1

I was born into the Catholic Faith, and I see prejudices inside and out of all religions. The situation calls for something I wouldn't reccommend to anyone but you. Tell him after you are married at least a month. Now, in order to stop the soon to be husband being more frustrated, don't communicate any info about each other to any father, fiancee......... look ...it will only add more fuel to the fire.

Ask the brother to walk you down the aisle a few weeks before the occassion, if you think he will tell the dad.

You have to place you and your future ahead of this father, he hasn't been a good influence in your life.  please go and love life with your soon to be partner.

Answer 2

That's so sad that your dad is behaving in such an unaccepting way.  Is there a way you guys can get married in an outdoor ceremony with a priest officiating?  It's still being married 'by the church".  Just a thought that might help make less stress for you on your big day!

Answer 3

Let them meet.  They hate each other without even meeting?  That means they are just going off the messenger.  The dad needs to step up and realize that his baby has grown up and found a religious belief that she's passionate about.  Things could be worse.  You could be running off to a cult or something.  Let the men battle it out.  Or at least coach your new man to be, up on being the bigger person.  All he can do is put himself out there.  Dad will see that his little girl is taken care of and thus all ends well.  Fingers crossed!

Answer 4

It's your choice to be what you want to be he had a choice didn't he?  Do what you thinks is best for you.