How should I feel about disrespectful, out of control pregnant 18 yr old daughter?

Question

My daughter is 18 and is 3 months pregnant. Since she turned 16, her father and I have had numerous problems with her. We have found 3 liquor bottles hidden in her room, driving drunk, LYING, cussing us, the list goes on and on. Her boyfriend, the father of her child, is a LOSER. Their relationship began around 4 years ago. They dated for a little over a year and then broke up. After they broke up he dropped out of High School during his senior year, wouldn't work, and got mixed up in drugs. A few months later my daughter wanted to get back with him and my husband and I would not let her date him. Periodically throughout the next few years she would sneak out to see him. Because of him and all the problems listed above we have taken her to 3 therapists, none of which seemed to help. As soon as she turned 18, she advised us that she would be with him and if we didn't let her then she would move out. We gave in and let her see him as advised by the last therapist.

Answer 1

I used to be the same way to iwas very mean and rude to the people i was living with but it was becaue i was depressed.. Have you ever thought maybe she isnt happy with her life and its just easier to blame you then herself?

drinking at a young age couldve meant she was feeling peer pressure and depression i think any out bursts during her pregnancy could be due to the hormones i would just let her know that you love her very much but you deserve to be treated better.

i am sure she will flip out but stay calm and let her know u will always be there for her but she needs to start respecting you because u cant deal with it any longer the more u deal with it the more she will do it.

I really hope things get better for you

Answer 2

kick her happy azz out lol

tough tough luv never hurts!!!!

Answer 3

Sorry I can't help--I have a 15 year old headed in that same direction-- All we can do is let them know we love them !!!

Answer 4

you know what i think? as soon as she realises how hard pregnancy is, not to mention how hard it is to look after a BABY, she is going to come running back to you and her father for help, advice and support. chances are things with her idiot boyfriend wont work out (this is probably a good thing for your grandchild.)  My mother and i never got along, but since i have been pregnant (im 38 weeks now) she has become my best friend, she is always there when i need her.

Although my situation is different to your daughters, make sure she knows that there are options out there for her when she wakes up to herself and realises she actually needs to be surrounded by good people and have an education!

Good Luck

Answer 5

Kick her out and give her a taste of the real world. Yes she's your daughter. Yes, you care about her. It's just a little tough love and she'll come crawling back to you.

Answer 6

wow. you should send her to one of those places for pregnant teens out of control, im not exactly sure wat they are called but you can probably look it up. good luck!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 7

been there, no matter how you bring your daughter up there is always going to be some young boy that  will persuade her that we do not know anything and sweet talk her into doing what he wants............you can tell her EXACTLY what a boy wants and she will not believe you as he has already got it into her head that we(the parents) do not like him and trying to keep them apart (which is the truth) . But she cannot see past him, she will always defy us  no matter how we try to restrict her movements..........it's unfortunate but the truth.........I had to eventually give up and tried to just be there for her. my daughter is now 27.......and she now tells me how right I was all those years ago.......... but my son has done alright for himself.......funny isn't it???

Answer 8

Kick her out. A little "tough love" never hurt anyone.

Answer 9

mother obviously she is screaming to the top of the lungs she needs help. Who dates a loser? Only girls with emotional low self esteem problems. Force her to get counseling  now before the baby is born  so she can be a good mother . She might need to take depression pills. Even though it is frustrating don't give up on her at least do it for the grand baby. She will end up like a ticking bomb ready to blow up act now before you have to dread anything later,

Answer 10

Your daughter thinks she is an adult, and that she is mature enough to keep stride with an older, uneducated, irresponsible, substance abuser.  Unfortunatley her 'phase' has most likely contributed to lax birth control, because she thinks she is in control of her own life.

If she wants her own life, give it to her.  It seems so easy to be disobedient and disrespectful when your needs are met regardless.  She has a comfortable home and parents to walk all over.  Encourage her to move out, get a job, and be responsible for her own life with her boyfriend and new child.

She will see how good she had it, and in the process of working to succees will probably clean up her act - If she is pregnant, hopefully she has quit drinking, but soon she will see that her boyfriend is not father material, and there are obstacles in life best tackled alone.

As difficult as it is - By giving her a home you are enabling her dangerous behavior.  It is hard because you love her, but drop her onto her behind, and show her how important it is to make *real* adult decisions.

Answer 11

If talking to her about your concerns doesn't help, than cut her off.  Tell her that if she doesn't get help, than she will get nothing from you.  If you give out so much as a penny to her, you are enabling her and she will feel no need to fix her life.  By demanding that she stop seeing this LOSER (which it sounds like he is), she will only want to see him more.  Cutting her off may hurt you at first and you may feel like a bad parent, but it is the only way to get her to see how much trouble she is in.

Answer 12

listen,

i know you want to protect your daughter because blood is thicker than water. But sometimes that cannot always happen. If she wishes to go against you, all you can do is sit back and let her. However, if she ends up on your door step with a baby in about 6 months, you'll have to shut the door, because of all the disrespecting she has done already.

Though you hate it, sometimes you have to sit back and let them live their lives and figure out their mistakes.

may the best be with you, and good luck.

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