How should I get my to listen?

Question

Well, my boyfriend and I just got a house together and we need to put everything away but his kids have been nothing but lazy. His daughter who is 15, has a huge attitude and does nothing but listen to her music, eat, and watch tv. His son who is 17 does pretty much the same stuff but he's a really sweet boy and would probably listen better than his daughter. I dont know what to do because I feel like its not my place to tell them what to do until my boyfriend and I have lived together for awhile. Also, my boyfriend has kind of let his daugther get out of hand and he spoiled her. So, he's not real good at getting her to listen and I know he's trying but he's doing it so slow and he's still letting her get away with everything. And when he does say something to her, then she throws a big temper tantrum. Pretty much his daughter is a little rotten. So, I dont know what to do because this house needs to get done, the kids need to learn to listen and I feel bad for my daughter who is 16, because she has been helping as much as she can. So, if any of you have any suggestions I would greatly appreciate it.

Answer 1

You need to tell you boyfriend that either his children start helping out the family or they dont become part of the family... Why should your daughter help out while the other children dont? Take a firm stand, your gonna need it. Maybe start by asking the boy 'oh could you just help me out with this heavy box' and maybe they will get the idea if not or if he refused go to your boyfriend and tell him that its just not acceptable. Also start unspoiling that girl coz she will only end up being a bigger pain then she is now.  

Answer 2

just tell them they have to help set things up and un-pack so they can have all of their "comforts"... either that or tell them to get out until it is done...  if they tell you your not my parent, etc... tell them my house my rules, thats what I did with my step kids but they are 9,7 and 4. so there is a bit of a age difference...

of course talk to your bf before youdo anything, tol make sure you are on the same page

Answer 3

First of all you need to talk to your boyfriend and get on the same page. If they do not do anything then take away their tv, music, cell if they have on and computer. These things are privilege's. Start having your boyfriend and yourself together give out chores. Reward them when they are helping. I don't care if they are 15, 18, or 9 they live under your roof and as long as the two of you are supporting them your rules go. Again you and your boyfriend have to get on the same page and he and his children need to pitch in with you and your daughter, everyone needs to respect each other and you need to all become a team.  

Answer 4

you have to talk to your boyfriend and ask him if he wants you to be just his girlfriend or also be a mother figure to them...you actually have to have this talk...and if you accept his answer then you need to make him have a talk with his kids alone and explain what role he wants you to play in there lives and then have a family meeting with everyone and actually say the rules of the house