How should I handle a second grade female lying to me about being sexually assaulted?

Question

I teach second grade. Yesterday, another child witnessed a boy and girl in the coat closet humping on each other and kissing.

When I asked the girl child what happened, she said that she had gone into the closet to get her gloves, when the boy came in.

She said he told her to kiss him, but she said no, so he started hitting and pushing her, so she let him kiss/hump on her because she was scared. She then said she was afraid to tell me or her parents because we'd be angry.

Turns out she was LYING. He never hit/pushed/forced her to do it. She wanted too. She even came up with the "signal" for him to do it.

I feel like a fool because I thought she was a victim, so we had a talk about "good touch/bad touch" and I even told her how when I was little, a boy touched me in a bad way and i was scared to tell, but I did.

Answer 1

a second grader isnt smart enough to lie about something like that ur barking up the wrong tree

Answer 2

i wouldn't be overly concerned about it.it is normal for children to be curious and normal to lie at this age too.  But I wouldn't let it slide.  the parents must be notified of this behavior and it is their responsibility to handle it as they see fit.    But i would certainly not let her go into that closet again during class time.   If she forgets something then she does without it, too bad.  Consequences for her actions... all kids must be taught that.

Answer 3

I think that you have learned a valuable lesson in stereotyping situations. I also think that this issue is out of your control and should be taken up with the principal, parents, etc.

Answer 4

As a teacher you should _know_ that you are legally bound to report this behavior to at least your principal.  There are soo many laws nowdays against kids touching, even innocent patting, that a teacher could be fired, if not jailed for failing to comply with state regs. And If you are a teacher you know that.

Answer 5

yike tough situation but she may still be a victim.  younge kids dont come up with activities like that unless there is something going on

look into the child's home life.      its possible she just acidently walked in on someone and saw them and got the idea      but its also possible that someone has been doing this  to  her.  you need to reefer both children to the school guidence counslelor and/or school social worker.  something may be going on with that girl  and you cant ignore the signs

Answer 6

Oh gosh I was wrong too. I thought for sure she was the one telling the truth - must just be a better liar.

I think another talk about how saying something happened when it didnt happen that way can get people into trouble is in order. If she did this when she was older she could have had a rape or attempted rape charge against that boy. She needs to learn not to do that.

Answer 7

I would refer BOTH students to the school guidance counselor and let him/her handle it and advise you on how to react to it. The adult behavior was seen or taught somewhere, and I would let someone trained to deal with these issues handle it from here.

Answer 8

I think that both the girl and boy should visit the school psychologist. There may be deeper things going on here.

Answer 9

You should definitely tell your principal, vice principal, and the parents of both kids.  The staff needs to know what is going on in the school so they can be on the watch for any inappropriate behavior by these or any other kids.  The parents need to know so that they can sit down and have a talk with their kids.  Hopefully, they will tell their kids that if they ever "look" at someone sideways before they are 18, they'll get knocked into next month, but that's just me. But you need to make all the people above aware of what is going on.  Good luck and I'll say a prayer for you.

Answer 10

I really shouldn't laugh but...

This kind of sexual play isn't outside the norm. When we are talking about two second graders we are not talking about any kind of sexual assault or even abnormal play in most cases.

Kids do this stuff. It is normal. It is where all the jokes about "Playing doctor" come from.

The best way to handle it is to not freak out. Nor assume something awful is at root. You just talk to the kids and let them know that this kind of thing is not appropriate behavior.

And yeah, pretty normal for them to lie about it, too. Especially when a grown-up gets all serious in questioning them about it. While they don't fully understand the implications of what they are doing, they do have some inkling that it is "grown-up" stuff and as such possibly something they shouldn't be doing....so like all kids everywhere if they think they are going to get in trouble the first reaction is to lie to get out of it.

I've done foster care for years and while inappropriate sexual acting out is no laughing matter because it tends to indicate sexual abuse perpetrated on the child, what went on in your classroom sounds like a kid that might have glimpsed something she shouldn't have and decided to try it out...and that is what kids do, too, mimic the behaviors of those who care for them.

Answer 11

how long have you been around kids? you're surprised that a 7 or 8 year old lied to you?  besides, at that age its hardly sexual assault...try teaching them how to read and write and don't be so concerned with normal childhood experiences..you're not there to be confessor, psychologist, or substitute parent...

Answer 12

BOTH of their parents need to be told. and they both obviously need to see a counselor. They apparently are exposed to stuff at home that no 2nd grader should be exposed to. And make it clear to them that they are NEVER to do that again. Move their seats to the front of the room but away from each other!