How should I handle my kids with my husband gone for bootcamp in the U.S. Navy?

Question

I was just wondering how to deal with my husband gone to boot camp with the kids at home with me!! We have a almost 5 year old son and a daughter that just turned one!! Our son knows that dad joined the Navy but I think when he leaves in Jan.for boot camp it will be completely different! I was just wondering if theres anyone that is dealing with this or has that might have some things to do to get them ready or to help when he actually leaves!!

Answer 1

Yes it is very hard and the kids dont realize it until the day comes. We have three and when my husband left, my oldest was 7 and the youngest was 2 months. My oldest was the only one who really understood and what helped her out was I bought a calender and had her outline each day he will be gone then mark everyday that passes off. This will come as a shock to you too when you actually see how many days he is gone. another thing I did was always talk to her about what daddy was doing and how it wont be long until we see him. Also doing little projects that is military related with her helped. He is in the army but we went to walmart and bought those iron on letters and we sat and made shirts that said army brat or my daddy's a soldier...basically just get them involved and keep them involved make sure they see you happy about his decision to join....i know this will be hard and there were plenty of times i broke emotionally. But in all honestly this is the most easier of times i know that dont sound too reassuring but its true. You learn a lot about yourself and become stronger...anyways good luck to you and stay strong

Answer 2

Thank you to your husband for serving - and to you for being supportive of it.

There are support groups, websites, blogs for this.  

Here are two thoughts:  

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article...

http://www.jewish-wedding-rabbi.com/mili...  (about the strenght of a militiary marriage)

Answer 3

Make a goodby to daddy calander and put it on your fride and count down the days till he leaves. that way the kids will know and expect it. when he is almost ready to leave, have yuor kids make a craft project saying goodby, theyll miss him and cant wait till he is done. then when make another calander for when he is graduating and when the kids will see him again. tell your hubby thank you for serving!!

Answer 4

If you have a video camera get your husband to read books for your kids.  Then when they are feeling down you play the movie, and they can follow along with the book itself.    If you don't have a video camera talk to friends, family or even the closest library or high school or college and see if someone can help you out.

Then make a little photo album for each of them where they have pictures of daddy so they can look through them and see daddy that way.  Put pictures on the fridge as well.  

A calender is a good option as well, the 5 year old can mark off the days.  

Set up play dates with other children in the neighborhood for them.  Is the 5 year old going to kindergarten or not this year?  Sometimes that can help because it helps to pass the time for them and gives you a little time as well.  

Talk to the 5 year old and explain that daddy has to go away but it doesn't mean he doesn't love them any less.  He has a new job and it requires that he goes to train for a little while.  They do understand a lot more than you think sometimes.

Make sure you have someone to help you as well.  You need your own time whether it is in the evening or during the day.  You have to make sure that you are ready to be both the mom and the dad and that means sometimes putting yourself first above everything else.  As a mom that is difficult because we always put everything else first but you need to change that even just for a little while.