Question:

How should I handle my son being mean to his friend?

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My son is 7 and our house is like the nieghborhood hang out for all the kids around his age.

To tell the truth sometimes I resent it and my husband jokes "Don't they have homes?" Most of the time I am glad that he has so many friends and that he is where I can keep an eye on him.

The problem is that there is one boy in particular that seems to have emotional problems, he can be really annoying at times and tends to irritate the other boys. Sometimes I catch them belittling him and being mean. I tell my son to be nice, that some time he may be the only friend available to play and also that he was his first friend when we first moved here. I do understand how the other kids get upset. Today, when I was checking on them outside he was pulling grass out of my lawn. Yesterday he broke a screen. He just does very strange things. He is also different in that he has a lazy eye, the kids do not pick on his physical features....thankfully!

Sometimes we have up to 5 kids irritated with him. I hug him and tell the others to be nice or they will have to leave, and tell my son that if he is not nice then everyone will go and he will be grounded. That seems to work, but it is something that goes on all the time when the kid comes. I could never break his heart and tell him not to come. I have never let my son know he irritates me, but I am sure he can tell.

I refuse to keep an eye on them the entire time, I am not a day care and I am not being paid. LOL All the other moms make them play outside the entire time, I let them play inside a few hours in my sons play room and then outside a few hours. When school starts back up there will be more restriction, but for now I let them play morning till the street lights come on. On the weekends when my husband is home the kids know not to bother us because we keep buisey on the weekends.

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4 ANSWERS


  1. Do not have all the kids over at your place at the same time. Allow no more than 2 at a time for awhile. You may find out that one of the other kids is the one provoking it and your son is going along with it just because of peer pressure. You may have a bully hanging out and it is best to find out quickly who it is.


  2. What you are doing sounds great. Maybe you should talk to his parents and they can talk to him.

  3. I wouldnt use the "annoying" kid in the way that you have been, to tell the truth. If you continuosly let the other kids know that "if they dont behave, everyone's outta here", he will certainly before long become the focal point of even worse treatment from the other children. Absolutely talk to the other child's parents, it sounds like the child may have issues that you don't know about, and that could prove to be dangerous to the others if no one takes action.  

  4. follow through on your threat and next time actually make everyone go home the FIRST time anyone is rude.  

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