How should I handle this knew info about my wife?

Question

I've been married for 4 years now and recently uncovered some videos and photos taken from my wife's bachelorette party. These pix and vids show my wife (along with a cpl of my friend's wives) doing alot with their male stripper. Giving him handjobs and blowjobs, kissing him, letting him take their clothes, letting him kiss l**k and suck all over their bodies. I mean everything short of actual s*x happen (that is if you don't count bjs as s*x) Now I knew she had a bachelorette party and that they had a male stripper, but I didn't know all this happened. I had a bachelors party with a female stripper, but nothing like that happened. The stripper at mine got topless in a g-string and danced. We weren't allowed to touch her, and at most she grinded against my lap (blue jeans covered lap).

And what really shocks me is that we were together for several months before having s*x, and were "Married" for over a year before I talked her into a *******, something she still very rarely does for me her husband. I don't know how to handle this, she doesn't know I know yet. And on top of this being my own problem now I have to decide to whether or not to let my friend's know what all their girlfriend and wife did. Any advise?

Answer 1

what your friends wives and girlfriends did is not your priority right now. you need to sit your wife down and tell her what you saw. she might be mad at first. but let her know how hurt you are that what she did that night was very disrespectful to you and ask her how she would feel if you did that at your bachelor party. good luck.  

Answer 2

Yes if she would give a stranger a b----j-- and rarely will you , she is still doing strangers!  Evidently I have a better chance upon meeting her than you do. If on the other hand she is the ideal wife stay with the status quo. If you tell your friends they will hate you for s******g up the marriage.You know what to use if you ever need a divorce. Put it in a safety deposit box.

Answer 3

I'd be pissed to say the least!

Answer 4

What you decide to tell and handle with your wife is your business.  I wouldn't just forget it though.  But, don't tell your friends, that's not your business and you could end up hurting the relationship with your friends.

Good luck  

Answer 5

I think you should let it go.

Many guys do that, and if something did happen at yours, you wouldn't want your wife to get angry, correct?

It was her last night of being single and she enjoyed it. If it ever happened while you two were married though, that's a different story.

As for your friend's girlfriends, that's different.

You should let your wife's friends know and let them make the decision, it's not your place to meddle and tell your friends.

Answer 6

woahoh is all i can say . i mean really ?

Answer 7

It depends if you were snooping then don't talk to her about it because if you were snooping then you are sorta even, but if you just came across it then defenatly talk to her, and you should also tell you friends about thier wife/girlfriend. They will thank you for it.

Answer 8

If they gave him blow jobs they were having s*x.. Nice try Bill Clinton you piece of

Answer 9

I'd confront her with it. What's the worst she could do? Divorce you because you had proof she cheated? Yea so it was before you were married but you were still together. Don't keep quiet it's not fair to let her keep thinking you're oblivious.

Answer 10

Wow, as iff! Well, if I were you, I would definatly confront my wife. I would definatly be pissed. You basicly have proof that she cheated on you. I don't care if it was he batchlorette or not, it wasn't right, AT ALL. Your friends deserve to know what their wives did 2.  Anyway, I think it would be the right thing to do.

Answer 11

I would have a movie night & accidently leave it in the DVD player & have your friends over & let them watch it!

Answer 12

yes tell her you know and tell your friends what there wife's did. she cheated on you a bj or hj is cheating period end of question  

Answer 13

Have a "party" inviting all the couples involved over and put the video in to play on a big screen TV. Watch all the women's jaws drop. The "hold the s*x back" game is a tool they use to make you think they are "pure" but in reality, they USUALLY do it on the first and every date. It's all a SCAM.

Answer 14

Why would she video tape it?  What an idiot!!  Not to mention that strippers are dirty, I think you may have an issue on your hands.  Tell all of your friends that you all married a bunch of hoochies:)

Answer 15

LET IT GO!

Answer 16

Destroy the tape, forget it, and move on.

Answer 17

well you need to confront her about it, and see what her side of the story is, and then you need to show and tell your friends about their girl/ wife:) good luck :) i hope that i helped:)

Answer 18

yea...u found it too little too late...let it go

Answer 19

At the time, you were not married.  

Your friends did give you a great bachelor party for the right price you could have been doing the same.

Get Over it.  If she did not want to marry you, she would not have.

Double Edged Sword.

Play it in your favor with a threesome with her friend.

Answer 20

You should probably speak with a therapist, minister about this.  You will think about this often.  Don't drag other people into this nonsense.  Best of Luck!

Answer 21

Don't tell your friends this could end up in the end of there marriage just try to forget ........about it .....it is for the better Good luck

Answer 22

I'd be upset, but your wife would be upset if she knew the stripper grinded against your lap.  I actually find it hard to believe you didn't do more at your bachelor party.  You could talk to her about it, but don't be jealous because of what she did with the stripper.  If you both didn't want a situation to present itself like this, then why have these parties to begin with?  Everyone knows what happens at them  

Answer 23

Tell your best friends about it and book a flight to amsterdam or cologne.

Answer 24

I don't know, but I'm strangely turned on.

Answer 25

If I did that and I tried to hide it from my husband, I would have a very, very angry husband..  Anyway, you should tell her that you found it, but do not tell your friends.  She will probably feel quilty.  Base your next move on her reaction after you tell her you found it.  

Answer 26

they need to know you know i would just have it all laying out when your wife got home and see what she has to say  let her know how pissed you are and that is basically cheating if you ask me with those bj s  and same with her friends they cheated on there bf/husbands id let it be known  

Answer 27

Personally, I think her behaviour was wrong, but maybe she had too much to drink, if you love her and you don't consider the bj's s*x, which in my opinion is, let it go.  If your relationship is good in all other aspects, try to get over it.  Some people can't, I for one, would not be able to if the tables were turned.  Maybe you should go to a therapist and maybe get an opinion on handling your feelings and any action or inaction to take.  Good Luck

Answer 28

First thing I would do is set up the video tape and have your wife sit down to view a "new movie" you found.  Once the tape starts and she realizes what it is, drop the photos on the table and ask her to explain.  As for your buddies, I would make copies of the photos and the tape and give it to them to decide what they will do.  Cheating is Cheating and it does not matter if it was at a party or not.

Answer 29

Well you let the stripper grind on you! That's just as bad. Forget about it and never bring it up.

Answer 30

wow that's messed up to do even if it was a bachelorette party that's wrong what she did i would confront her and if it where me in that situation id get a divorce cause if she can do that who knows what else she can do

Answer 31

Let it go.  Then ask her about the pictures.  Let her that you've already let it go, but ask why she still has the graphic ones.