How should I handle this??

Question

I have a situation that is quite difficult for me to handle currently. My ex has an affair with the principal at the school where she is a teacher. We got divorced about a year ago and I have since moved on to a better and more wonderful live. She unfortunately is still having an affair with this person and he is still married. I have no problem with her choices in live, but we have a 5year old daughter that is stuck in the middle of this mess. I don’t approve of this but I also realize that she love’s our daughter as much as I do.

The problem is that I don’t get to see my child enough and our relationship is drifting apart because he is spending a lot of time with my child. I had no success with the day-care to give me info relating to my child as my ex is currently quit preoccupied with her own situation and don’t bother to give me the relevant info that I need. The only time I here from my ex is when she needs money for my child.

My question is: How do I approach this situation? Do I take a aggressive approach and get a letter from a lawyer instructing her and the day-care to supply me with the info I need, or do I leave it and hope that the mess she is in now passes and see if she do more from her side?

Answer 1

get a lawyer. doing something on your own could get you in legal trouble later.

Answer 2

Go to a lawyer & get visitation rights in black & white. Write an annonomous letter to the wife of teacher making her aware of the affair.

Answer 3

get a lawyer because she doesnt know how to handle herself since she is not mature enough to end this affair and call his wife do her a favor.  Ask a lawyer for advice so you dont end up doing something stupid

Answer 4

Try to work with your ex but if that doesn't work get an attorney. Your daughter needs her father, not the father figure your ex is trying to push on her.

I would be so happy if my ex wanted to be involved with my daughter in a positive way!

Answer 5

don't try to handle it on your own! that'll only make matters worse. i would go back to court and see if you can get more visitation rights or more custody. if you have proof of the alleged affair... you might want to bring it up to a lawyer. a judge would most likely frown on a child living in a situation like that for a child. if she is paying the bills at the daycare... or if she is the custodial parent there, they have every right to deny you information. they do this because in some situations, the parent requesting information doesn't have any rights to the child and could potentially put the child in danger. i'm NOT saying this is your situation, but this is from the view of the daycare. they can't have just anyone walking in off the street even if it was a parent requesting personal information on a child when the child is in their care and under their protection. whatever the case, good luck. i hope your intentions are good.

Answer 6

Get a lawyer! Don't wait on your ex to make good decisions and do what she needs to do, she obviously isn't very good at that if she's having an affair and continues to have one. As a teacher she is not being a very good role model to the children she's teaching.

Take the agressive approach so you can see your child and spend as much time with her as you are supposed to!  

Answer 7

I would puss the issue. That is your child and you should be a part of his/her life regardless of the situation in you ex's life. Get a lawyer.  

Answer 8

You should if you haven't already try to talk to her about how you are feeling.  After all she is your daughter too! :)

If you've done this already and it hasn't gained you anything then it is probably best to take the matter up legally.

<3 Good Luck!!

Answer 9

you should get a lawyer. you are her father and you have rights!

Answer 10

Umm...that's one tough situation

Answer 11

You are 1of the parents. Take what is yours! Get the lawyer to assist you!

Answer 12

i would approach her first, tell her how you feel and what you want. An amicable agreement is always going to be better for everyone involved.

if it doesnt approve, then take a more aggressive approach.

Answer 13

You agreed to the visitation and custody of the child when the divorce papers were signed. The only thing i can say is to go back to your attorney and find out what your rights are and if they can be revised so you have more say so in your daughters life. Though i dont agree with your wifes lifestyle, being with a married man. If that situation plays itself out you have to realize eventually your wife will settle down with someone and your daughter will have another male figure in her life.  

Answer 14

Get a lawyer to help out.