How should I handle this sticky WILL situation?

Question

My husband's grandmother has three sons. All three of those sons are getting an equal share of her assets once she is deceased. All of her grandchildren are also getting an equal share of her assets (less than the sons of course). However, the illegitimate daughter of one of her sons (a grandchild) is also getting the same equal share as the sons rather than a grandchild share. The family is up in arms over this and feel that its "not fair". That this young girl should get a grandchild's share, not a child's share.

I have a very close relationship with my husband's grandmother. Several members of his family have approached me and asked me to say something to her! I, personally, believe that its her money and she can give it to whomever she sees fit in whatever amounts she chooses. I don't fully understand what it is they are so upset about. When I tell them this, they tell me that I just don't understand the situation and something needs to be done. She could say, "s***w all of you" and no one gets anything! I have refused to get in the middle of it and say something to the grandmother (because its none of my business), but now I feel the need to tell the family to mind their own business and stop being money hungry a******s. Should I just continue to stay silent or should I tell these people that its HER money and she can do with it what she pleases? I mean, they did nothing to help her earn all the money that she has, so they shouldn't dictate what she does with it, right?

I hate sticky family situations like these. Sorry that was so long. Thanks in advance for any feedback.

Answer 1

stay out of the middle. Tell them you feel like tis her money and she should deal with it how she feels appropriate. This is really no one elses business but hers.

Answer 2

It seems that the family seems to be more interested in money than the fact that one day they  will lose their grandmother/mother . The girl did not ask to be illegitimate nor ask the grandmother  to put her higher . The family is definitely wrong and I applaud your stance on the entire thing . I think you should definitely tell them how it is . All they are doing is hurting the grandmother and the little girl who had little if anything to do with the situation . Tell them off , they really need it  

Answer 3

We had this situation in our family. Slightly different but very close. One of the siblings was/now again is a drug addict. She had 2 children in a marriage/divorced. Those 2 children were placed into the care of His Mother. So when my Husbands Mother wrote out her will, she equaled all proceeds to only 5 of the 6 children leaving out except for $1.00 to the drug addict daughter. However, that 6th Child amount was given to us to place into an account to draw interest until the 2 children had reached of age and was clean of all drug addiction if they had any at all. Stipulation in the will. No drugs. Just a few months ago, my Husband had the wonderful pleasure of delivering the money to both those kids. Now grown and doing as well as expected in this days lousy economy. The small amount we placed in the account was less than $1500.00 but for the first few years the interest was very high. The kids shared just slightly over $10,000. My husband broke tears when he saw their faces upon realizing the amount they each received. He was executor of his Mother's Will. And all in all she only left about $8,000.00 give or take. So in retrosprect, She felt the kids would be without their whole family, and losing out on many events and lots of love in the growing years. She was right. That is one reason she kept those kids and none of the other grandkids in the will.

I am thinking that her reasoning is the same as your husbands Grandmother. The rest of the family should button up their lips and be glad they are thought of in the first place. She could just give them all $1.00 and give the rest to charity. AND that would be legal.

I agree with you completely....as the other siblings when my Mother in Law died...came out here and gosh I was hurt by their lack of respect for her things....rummaging like banshees or worse. It was terrible. I loved Her so much and we had a wonderful relationship so I was terribly hurt by how they acted and their greed. What My Mother in Law did was to request that everything be given a price by notable sources, including jewelery, knick knacks, coins. Everything. Then if one of the kids wanted a certain thing they bid on it (if another wanted it it would get into a bidding war) the highest bidder won and paid for it from the total proceeds they would in the end receive. A letter from them with their requests was kept on file and copied and given to all the siblings to keep things on the up and up. After all was sold, the money, letters, etc was tallied up and then money and items dispersed accordingly.  Since a copy of the will was given to all of them they could see it was Her choice and they had to go along with it.

Good Luck with your Family...and if you do suggest this method to your Grandmother she can still change her will if she so chooses. That would certainly fix them all.

Answer 4

That will is her business and it sounds as if you agree. If you're concerned with your family interfering with how your grandmother in law distributes her money you should make sure that she knows how the rest of the family feels. If she is certain that she wants to keep it that way make sure she consults a lawyer and makes her intentions crystal clear. It would stink if your family started suing one another.