How should I learn to enjoy s*x?

Question

got married one month ago. I am 20 and he is 28. My parents "chose" him for me because it is part of our family tradition and culture. We did get romantic feelings after some meetings and he had been into me for a long time, if not my father would not have chose him for me. The problem is that I cannot seem to enjoy s*x. I was a virgin until marriage (like other girls in my culture) and the first time wasn't good. I feel like it all went too fast and my husband was too eager. I still feel that he is too eager, but shouldn't he be? I think s*x hurts a lot. Is he giving me too little time to get ready for it? I have tried everything: s**y underwear, candlelights, romantic silk bedspread etc. As a wife it is my duty to please him and I don't want to complain but is there any way I can enjoy it too?

Answer 1

Your duty to please him?!  You poor girl, you need to come to America and choose your own man.  I didn't even know that they still arranged marriages.  s*x goes both ways.  He needs to make sure that you are satisfied too or else you will find a new man who knows how to treat you.

Answer 2

Well, if you are not in love with your husband, you might never enjoy s*x with him. That's just the fact. Cannot have the cake (arranged marriage) and eat it (mind blowing s*x and emotional connection) too.

Answer 3

Get some KY lubricant at the drugstore and put it all over his p***s before you insert it.  Start masturbating as often as you can.  Get a vibrator and cover it with KY and play with yourself for as long as possible, like hours if you have that much time.  

Tell him you only want to have full intercourse on Saturdays for awhile until you're used to it.  This will give you time to rest, and time to m********e.  It will also get him to practice self control, and you will both get excited with the anticipation.  If you ever start feeling like you want to have s*x more often, then you can loosen the schedule.

Answer 4

Its the same for every loving couple, you just learn to relax and with time you will both enjoy.

Answer 5

It will get better, overtime. In the mean time, have him give you an o****m first by l*****g you. Then he can fulfill his own needs. Sometimes you may even get 2 orgasms from this method.

Answer 6

And as a husband it is his duty to please you.  Ask him to slow down, maybe you guys can read some erotica to each other, share massages and things like that to ignite the fires of passion more slowly.  Good luck.  

Answer 7

quit worrying about what will make him happy and do what will make you happy.  take your socks off and relax!!

Answer 8

Try talking to him about it... Tell him to slow down and and dont rush things.. Maybe add more foreplay...Or asking if you can take control of s*x one night and be on top...Hope this helps!

Answer 9

It hurt for a while with me.  Is your husband large?  I guess you wouldn't really have much to compare it to, huh?  Just give it some time & tell him to slow down.  There is nothing wrong with giving him a little direction.  Yes he should be eager but he should also want to pleasure you too.  Is he a virgin as well?  Hopefully you'll get a little more comfortable with each other.  He should be trying oral on you.  To this day I can't climax from penetration.  It has never happened once.  I still enjoy it because I like being with my husband but he takes care of me first.  It would help if your husband did that because the actual s*x is less painful when you're relaxed & lubricated down there.

Answer 10

Your problem is your husband.

He has failed to satisfy you.

He needs to read up on how a woman's body works. (You too!!!)

Do either of you even know what a "lubricant" is?

Answer 11

he needs to learn what you like and how to please you too..it's not all just about your husband. If it's hurting too much, try some lubricant if you're not ready for it...you two need to communicate about this situation..he'll be more than willing to help you feel good too

Answer 12

Then you should talk to him. Love making is slow and very heated....it sounds like your husband just wants s*x. The feelings arent there you need to talk to him.

Answer 13

If it hurts, he is too eager and he needs to take more time exciting you, because it does take women more time to get turned on than men.  You can try KY jelly or other things to help you get lubricated, but here is where you need to communicate with your husband.  Tell him what he can do to turn you on so that you both get pleasure from each other.  The underwear, candles, and the silk bedspread only helps him, not you if you really think about it.  Talk to him what you want him to do to excite you and turn you on too so that you both get something out of it instead of him enjoying himself and you getting hurt okay?

Answer 14

Telling your husband what you do and don't like in bed isn't complaining.  It's communication, and it's important to keep your marriage healthy.  Don't insult what he's been doing: just tell him what you'd like to try, and let him know when he hits on something you enjoy.  Chances are that pleasing you will make him happy, too, and that will make things even better for both of you.