How should I?

Question

My son, just recently turned 11. I think it's time we have "the talk" with him. I'm a bit nervous. My husband and I have decided to talk with him tonite. I'm not sure how I should open the convorsation. How should I tell him about the consquences of having s*x? How should I make it comfortable towards where, he's not embarrassed? I want him to ask me questions, and feel okay.

I also have a younger son, and one daughter, I'm worried that my 11 year old will tell my younger children about s*x. How can I prevent that?

Please, no foolish answers.

Answer 1

You need to establish that s*x is to be reserved for marriage, and that it's a wonderful thing. Next you need to be open with your younger children as well. For me and my siblings we knew how babies were made and that s*x was persiouse and for marriage since we were very little. Since there wasn't an age where we had 'the talk' we were always very open with our parents, and asked the questions. We felt comfortable because it wasn't like a sudden new topic, it was something i knew from a very young age was ok to talk about to them.

Answer 2

Your younger children should know about s*x too. Of course at an age appropriate level. Call a family meeting and have everyone sit down to learn where babies come from. (Easily said: s*x) Keep it at an age appropriate level using the real words (p***s and v****a) After you cover the basics, ask the younger ones if they have any questions, answer them honestly, then talk to the older boy alone. Your eleven year old will probably be interested in masturbation or have questions about it, so be prepared for that big topic. He might have alot of questions, be prepared to answer them honestly and open.

Answer 3

you know something. Most kids alrady know about s*x. they just act like they don't because they're ashamed/embarrased about it infront of their parents.

but you do what you think is best

Answer 4

First of all, remember that most of us wouldn't be here if it were not for s*x. That's not foolish, that's just a fact.

Really the best way to talk to your kids about s*x is to answer any questions they have as they occur in an age appropriate manner.  Kids start asking about their bodies and about where babies come from pretty early on and these questions deserve respectful answers regardless of your child's age.  

I would also recommend that rather than sitting down in one evening to have "the talk" that you concentrate on opening the lines of communication by letting all of your kids know that you are here to answer any and all questions that they might have and that no question is off limits.  Your goal should be open and honest communication.  

This will help to develop a trust that will impact and serve every aspect of your relationship.  You can also have the security of knowing that your kids will come to you rather than their peers in order to be educated about this and other aspects of growing up.  I guarantee that you will be grateful for this.  

Part of the communication should be that there is nothing shameful about s*x or things of a sexual nature - it's part of life for just about everyone.  These conversations should happen over time - not just once and they should always end with you communicating that you are here to answer any question at any time.

Answer 5

open the conversation by recognizing that its hard to talk about these things in the first place, for all of you. make sure he knows that he can ask you any question, ANY question and have an honest answer (this applies to all other talks you have as well)

also that it is not time to explain these things to his younger siblings. that you will decide when to talk them.

other than that, stress protection, and accept that teens do have s*x. telling them its reserved for marriage is dumb, unless they are truly devoted to a religion that calls for it. stress protection and consequences. and how you cant trust a girl who says shes on the pill.

abstinence is a crock, especially with all the hormones being pumped through kids these days. i was 16 when i became sexually active, i discussed it with my mom, she put me on the pill, gave me warnings, and advice, and ive never regretted it.

you just need to have a good relationship, and open and honest one with your kids. s*x, drugs, rock and roll, schoolwork, hanging out with friends, everything needs to be open and honest. my parents were so honest about everything that i couldn't rebel as a teen. it was impossible. if i had managed to rebel somehow, i'd have had no option but to kill someone. i love my parents ;)