How should I react, if at all, to the following situation?

Question

My aunt invited me to have a lawn sale at her house last weekend because she knows I'm trying to clear out my mom's estate and she lives in a high-traffic area. Now it took me 2 hours to wrap things in newspapers, pack them in boxes and load my car. I drove 10 miles to auntie's house. When I got there, neither she or my cousin lifted a finger to help me set up my card tables, unwrap and put the merchandise on the tables. Then my cousin started criticizing the prices I had on my items saying things like "You'll never sell your stuff at those prices." Come lunchtime, they didn't even give me a bite to eat. Now I assume, being invited, means they will provide lunch. Come 4 PM and cousin says, "I think you'd better start thinking about packing up." It's like they couldn't wait until I left.

Well, I can only say it was a lot of work for what I got out of it added to the verbal barbs. I know my aunt is having a sale again this weekend, but I wasn't invited this time, even though I wouldn't go again.

My question is - why would she invite me then let my cousin berate me? Should she have provided lunch since she invited me and I was her guest?

Answer 1

I'm afraid I'm going to have to play "Devil's Advocate" on this one. Your aunt invited you, maybe feeling an obligatory need to help you with your mother's estate. She provided the setting, hoping you could sell some of the items. She is not necessary for her to help you in any other way once you are there. It would have been NICE but not OBLIGATORY. Your cousin may feel differently about your being there. Maybe your aunt didn't let him/her know about it. That is maybe why you didn't get another invitation for this weekend - they could have had a "discussion" about your being there after you left. Also she could have assumed you would bring your own food to eat - after all- she's not running a restaurant, is she? Just remember this if she does invite you again.

Answer 2

My grandma is similar.  She criticizes me all the time and it makes me feel awful.  I find the best way to react it is to tell them how you're feeling. Keeping it to yourself just makes you angrier.  Yes, she should have provided lunch (hello, she's family!) And, about your cousin, I don't know.  Have you had good relationship so far with them or have you done something to damage it? That could explain the poor treatment.  

Answer 3

wow your a lot better,then i whould be,you handel                 your self great,but i agree if your aunt invited you then i feel she could have helped you with you thing too and yes they should have also feed you lunch to,i feel like your auntie just wants to control you becuse your moms not with you,your a better person then that and am proud of u stand you ground allways in life best of luck.

Answer 4

Your aunt is not responsible for your cousin's behavior, and your cousin was probably trying to be helpful and didn't realize how critical she sounded.

It wasn't very thoughtful of your aunt, but then again you didn't express your needs either.  You could have asked your aunt "Gee, I'm starved, do you have anything to eat?  Or if I give her five bucks will someone go out and get me a sandwich?"  You could have told your cousin, "Thanks for your input, but this is the way I want to do it - I'd appreciate either more help or less criticism."

Maybe they didn't want to mess up the system you had going.  Maybe they were hurt you didn't offer them anything as a thank-you for using their lawn.

Answer 5

First off, they should have helped you. Second off, that's just plain rude and disrespectful to not help or offer you lunch. Next time they invite you, say that you have plans. It angers me whenever this happens and I'm sorry it happened to you. Really am

Answer 6

In everybody's lifetime a little rain must fall :)  Keep living...it's called "live and learn".  They don't think they did anything wrong.  But from your perception they were both acting selfish.  How do you convince a blind person that the lights are on in a room?  That blind person would have to feel the heat from a lightbulb.

That's the only way your kin will know that what they did was wrong.  They'll have to feel what you felt.  And guess what?  What goes around comes around.  Let it go...everyone reaps what they sow :)

Peace...

Blakely

Answer 7

yes she should've provided lunch. and she shouldn't helped you. I mean the thing was at HER house. she's just a bad host. something like that happened to my friend once. she was invited over to her "friends" house and spent the whole time cleaning her room. no one should have to deal with junk like that.

Answer 8

How nasty can someone be?   All I can say, is they showed you who they are.  And I would not want anything to do w/them.  They treated you like you were some bum off the street.  They should have gotten lunch for you, and they should have helped you pack and unpack, but you know that...and now you know how they really feel about you. I hope you never speak to them again. They aren't worth your time.