How should I react over my moms evil games?

Question

I'm 16 years old turning 17 next month. Recently I had a feeling my mom was being nosey and looking through my favorites and documents. She doesnt even know how to work barely a computer or understand it. She only gets on it to look up her relatives and be nosey to see whos passed away and to see where people are living. Well, the other day I was on my computer and I happened to click my favorites to go to a website and I noticied that they were deleted. I thought maybe my mom was spying on me or maybe my internet explorer messed up. I had a feeling something was up, so then on purpose, I put two p**n sites right in my favorites (LOL I shouldnt have done this) and I noticied the next day I came on after my mom got done using my computer and they were deleted. All that were in my favorites was some yahoo answers questions that I asked on here and one where I was talking about my mom and schooling because I dropped out over social anxiety. I also had a few other websites that were from youtube and videos of cars I liked to watch.

And then recently, I noticied my moms been trying to spy on my music to see if it has curse words. I caught her one day on my Itunes listening to my music saying that "she was previewing songs on Itunes that she liked" and she had the Itunes store open but she just happened to click that probably when she heard me coming in the living room. I also left my Ipod on the couch one day and she started listening to it and she heard some curse words and she told my dad about it. I got pissed off about it because you know its my personal things and I know that curse words arent healthy to listen to. But I know right from wrong and stuff. I know that some of the music is violent but I enjoy listening to it. I dont go out and shoot guns or do drugs because the songs tell me too. I'm way too mature for that. Then there was another time she got ahold of my ipod and started listening to it and saying the songs had curse words in them. Everyime I left my ipod out on accident and we got into an argument she would listen to it to p**s me off.

Then the other day, my dad was in the hospital and had surgery to replace his pacemake/defribulater or whatever because he has CHF and he isnt in the best health either. My mom went over to my aunts and took my brother over. My mom then started telling my aunt about what im doing on the computer about "coming on yahoo answers and telling everyone about what happeneing to strangers across the internet" and then she started bringing up the past about what I was like and how I used to mistreat my father and how my father spoils me. She said that im spoiled and my dad always sticks up for me and stuff. She kept mentioning things that happened years ago and that my dad is the reason I dropped out because he never took action and that she couldnt do anything because my dad wouldnt let her and all this other BS. Ive already contacted this counselor at the adult ed HS and they have GED classes. Im already probably gonna go there sometime soon and take GED classes and get my GED. I dropped out of school because of social anxiety and I never talk around my aunt or anyone because im shy. Anyways, my aunt then gets on my brother and tell him that "hes grown up now, and that when my dad goes into the hospital (because his lungs fill up with his CHF) that he should go there and see what hes like and show my mother support." My dad has told me and my brother many of times he doesnt want us to go up there and see the shape hes in when he cant breath because it scares us. We know what hes like were not stupid. She has my aunt fooled into thinkign were still the little selfish spoiled brats from 4-5 years ago. And I think shes been looking for things to tell my aunt by going on my computer and looking for things. I dont have nothing on my computer at all that shouldnt be there. My computer is completely clean! Shes doing all this for sympathy and she wants attention! My dad told me she used to get mad at him and she would go tell her friends a bunch of BS and they would start feeling sorry for her. Then they would start hating my dad and she would end up coming out smiling and feeling better than ever. I know my dad isnt in great health and ive changed alot. The only problem with me is me dropping out of school. I already have that issues solved hopefully soon and ill go and take GED classes.

My brother told me in private about what happened at my aunts house. At first I was gonna tell my dad because I know he doesnt need that stress. I ended up crying over it and my dad heard me and I told him whats wrong. He went and asked my mom why is she saying such things. I didnt hear what happened because they were outside where my mom was sitting. Then my dad came in and she came in. My dad then told her to please stop exagerating a bunch of BS. My mom didnt know what to do and she asked my brother if he told what happened at my aunts (my mom told him not to say anything abo

Answer 1

okay. wow. this is a shiitload. well, your about to trun 17. go get a job, so yu can get a studio apartment. you need to take some time away from your family. thats what my aunt did, and she came back with a husband and two kids. oof coyrse, they couldn't not talk to her, she had kids. my family is just as crazy as yours. [love the idea of the p**n on your favorites] and, i know how ou feel about your music. i do the exact same thing. but, i tend to sing the song out load, so thats how i get myself in trouble. do this;; but a combonation of your ipod.a dn make a seperate account on the comuter and make everything private, i know you have nothing to hide. but its good to have your privacy. my family is just as nuts,. my father is actully geting surgery today and even though my parnest are divorced, she stills goes off tells my father everythng. like, seriosly is that why she was put on this earth?! [that reminds me to create a group on facebook about crazy moms.]

just go get a job, and get away for a little bit. it'll be good for you.

Answer 2

Lots of mothers look at what their kids are doing on the internet and also use the computer themselves (after all they bought it).  Lots of mothers vent to their friends although they arent usually their sister-in-law.

You could help out by just focussing on your schoolwork more thats if you are still going there, then you could eventually get a well-paid job and move out of home when you are old enough.

Answer 3

d**n boy how much you going write. don't expect expect too many people to answer this question. But I managed to read most of it. Your Mom is in your business because she concerned about you. She loves you and she wants to know where her son is heading. What you need to do is get your own computer so she will leave you alone. The stuff she looks into is her business as long as your under her roof. When you're on your own then you can do whatever you want.  

Answer 4

I dont know for sure because there is no way for me to tell how much you write is flat out what happened, and how much is your interpertation of what happened.

You could be just taking her being concerned about you the wrong way.  Or her being online doesnt necesarally mean she is following up on you....she may be just because she wants to be.

Then again, there are people that do try to set people against  each other, either so they are the good one, and to get attention, or to draw attention away from the things they do wrong.  That can be associated with personality disorders.  My mom is the same way.  Only thing you can do in that situation is to keep yourself at a distance from them, especially emotionally.  Know that they play their games and there is no way to really stop that....you just have to kinda ignore those games.  You cant change other people, can only change yourself and take care of yourself.  At least your dad is realizing they are games, and not the truth, so you can at least have his support through this.  

And if it is a personality disorder, then her being quiet right now isnt her feeling guilt.......thats the thing with those disorers is the person sees nothing they do as being wrong....everyone else is wrong.  But now that the attention she is getting is negative, she backed off some.  Those disorders they want positive or sympathetic attention to them......and negative attention to others around them....which also creates more sympathy for them.

Answer 5

Move the heck out and get out of her grips and dont give her any control in the future.If you do she will drive any love interests away,trust me,my poor guys has a crazy gossipy mom that we tell nothing to her.If we even say we went to a movie,she will call his brother and all family members what we do,its crazy.Tell her NOTHING but Hi,Im fine and happy,I hope you are too.Love you,gotta go"Bye!"Sorry for you!

   My guy let me know how she was,I didnt believe at first till I saw her evil emails full of lies.Sad,my guy is better off without her,Thank God she lives far away!

Answer 6

Family drama is no fun, I've lived with it and through it.

First thing to remember is, you are almost 18, and you will be an adult.

Second thing to remember is, if you want to be treated like an adult, you have to ACT like one. You need to demand respect from people, but people don't give it to you automatically. You earn it.

One way to earn respect is to be completely honest, without hurting someone's feelings. I think the p**n thing was funny, but putting it on there to check on your mom isn't honest, it's stooping to her level.

I can't think of something to tell you to do in this specific situation, but all I can say is that if you think before you act, and you act maturely, things can only go up for you. And if they don't karma is a ***** and you'll come out better for it.

Answer 7

i think your mother is just upset maybe because you quit school or because your father is sick and i don`t think she realizes that she is hurting you by being... let`s say.. ``overprotective``.

she needs help but i know its NOT easy to convince her of this and she might be worse if you tell her this... so my advice is to let her think that she has the control , keep your computer ``clean``, do something with your life , hide your ipod and music that is disturbing her and be calm. i hope that after you do this she will begin to trust you again. i know its hard to do this but its this or get out of  the house. ..

i hope things will go better soon...