How should I react to this note from my childs teacher?

Question

My child’s teacher and I have been rubbing each other the wrong way since day one. She is extremely outspoken and strict, which is good but I feel she crosses the line sometimes. My son is having some problems staying organized (he's in fourth grade) which we are working on. He recently was assigned a book report and it was misplaced, which he got detention for and I agree with her. He told his teacher I was the last one to see his paper. This is not true. He was working on it and then misplaced it.

Anyway, he told her this and I think he believed I misplaced it until I reminded him he was typing it. His teacher wrote a note to me saying: He says YOU (“you” was underlined) misplaced his report. Is that true?

I don't know who to be more furious with right now her or my son. This woman has been so accusational toward me from the beginning of the school year I feel like telling her what I think of her but I am in a custody ba

Answer 1

I think it is hard to interpret what someone id trying t say in a letter.  Perhaps she was trying to get her point across that your son was being irresponsible for his report not getting turned in and is blaming YOU (Perhaps she underlined it to show you that he was saying it was your fault) for it now. I have a 9 year old son that does this.  He recently had a project due that he swore he brought the paper home and that I had thrown it away.  He was trying to blame me and everyone else that he didn't know what was going on.  Maybe you should arrange a conference with the teacher.

Answer 2

got to the princable and request a classroom change, she is not allowed to talk to your son in such a strict way, and not you either. she must be some crabby high stressed woman who needs to get a life.

Answer 3

Careful with interpreting her tone in a note.  She may be underlining "you" because she DOESN'T believe it.  9 times out of 10 the teacher is going to side with you, so don't read too much into it.  Send a note back to the teacher and explain what happened in your words.  You might want to apologize for your sons mistake and explain to her what you are doing at home to get him more organized.  I'm not one of those moms that are up the teacher's butt every other day, but it's important that you and your child's teacher are on the same page.  Remember that you only have to put up with her for a few more weeks, then your son will move on to another teacher next year.

Answer 4

My son is also in the 4th grade with a strict teacher. I take him to school on time everyday, but she has accused me of bringing him late all the time. She gave me a long speech about how it is rude of him to interrupt class everyday, etc... By my clock he is on time and I take him the same time I take my daughter who has never been accused of being late by her teacher. My son was also in tears once when he forgot his homework because he was afraid of her being mad at him.

We have just decided to be extra nice to her. We made sure to give her notes and gifts at teacher appreciation week. We have also volunteered for field trips and helped out where we can. She seems to have warmed up a bit to us and has not been complaining about his lateness.

My advise is to just apologize and be as nice as you can. You know the old saying of catching more flies with honey rather than vinegar.

At least school is almost out!

Answer 5

I think she is just trying to pick your bone. Everything that your child does,she is going to blame you for it. O just bite your tounge and take it. Maybe he did tell her that you were the last to see it, which led her to ask this question. But if that was the case, if you would have said yes It is true what could or would she have said to change the situation?? either way it was lost and there wasn't anything to do to change the situation.So there was really no need for her to ask this.

Answer 6

Just tell her that it is not true . . . why look for conflict?

Answer 7

you shouldnt care so much of what his teacher thinks of you. i mean he has to deal with her for the rest of the school year why make it harder on him

Answer 8

I don't think she was trying to make you mad, i think she wanted you to know what he said. The fact that it was underlined could just mean she doesn't believe him but is asking anyway. I would let it go and talk to your son. I would focus on the fact that he is telling stories instead of just owning up to a mistake.

Answer 9

Talk to her on the phone, or better yet, go see her in person. About this, and all the stuff that's going on.

You know, teachers hear 'stories' from their students all the time - and it's hard sometimes to know if it's the truth or not. Parents find it difficult to believe that their children might actually lie!

However, if it's something important, a teacher will always double-check with the parents.

Think of it this way - teachers take things kids say sometimes with a grain of salt. You wouldn't believe the things they say about their home lives!

Answer 10

TELL THE WOMAN TO BACK OFF!!!! BE MAD AT HER!

Answer 11

I don't think she's accusing you.  She is letting you know that your son is blaming it on YOU.  Don't let this get to you.  Just tell her he was the last one to have it and you want him to redo the report.  

You should be upset with your son for lying.  The teacher is trying to sort things out between what has happened and what your son is telling her.

It sounds like you have a lot of anger and it may be coming from other places.  Just get through the year and your son is almost done with school for this year.  

Good luck.

Answer 12

The teacher is simply asking you a question in order to clarify an obvious problem with your son.  It is not the teacher who has the problem but your son.  Simply answer her question, "No, I only saw the report while he was working on it."  Sounds to me as if your son is "telling tales" to get out of trouble at school and is pointing the finger at you.  The teacher is only asking you in response to what your son told her.

Answer 13

Just write her a nice note like this,

Dear Mrs._________

My son _________ was typing his book report and accidently mis placed it. I did not mis place it and do not know where it is. I am very sorry about this and will try to talk to him about organization and where he can keep his papers so they dont get lost. Please feel free to call me at _____________ and we can talk about this problem.

Thank you very much,

________________

Fill in your info on the lines! I hope you use this format it will work!

Answer 14

I don't think I would respond.  I'd take the note, your son, and have the teacher called in to the principals office for a meeting.

That way you can clear the air -- get it all out in the open.

Good luck!

Answer 15

I really wouldn't worry about it - I'd tell her that his book report is his responsibility and he's the one who misplaced it. The school year is almost over - let it go.

Answer 16

Go to the Principal first.  If that doesn't work, go to the higher-ups in the school district.  You have the right to feel like your child is safe at school.  This includes bullying from the teacher.

Answer 17

I would go in and talk to her because it is very hard to convery the attitude in a message.  Also there are less than a month of school left, unless its year round, and he will move on to a new teacher. I would just suck it up and wait it out for a few more weeks.  Good Luck!

Answer 18

Have you thought that the teacher isn't accusing you, but rather pointing out that your son is blaming other people for what are his responsibilities?

I would send the teacher a note and say "Thank you for your note.  I am surprised that my son said that I misplaced his paper. It seems he is now blaming others for his lack of organization.  What steps can we take as parent and teacher to improve his organizational skills and his sense of responsibility?"

You are a parent, not another student of this teacher. Stand up to them, but calmly and less accusatory.

Answer 19

It's possible she wasn't intentionally trying to be rude but just indicated your son said "you" were the one who misplaced the report.  I would take it with a grain of salt and just write a letter back saying "YOU" did not lose anything it was you "SON" who lost it.

Answer 20

problem today is teachers have more trouble with parents than the kids - this probably was not an appropriate thing to do by the teacher - but parents are getting to involved in what goes on in teacher's classrooms today that it becomes frustratin for teachers -

Answer 21

I don't know why she felt the need to capitalize and underline (that was admittedly rude), but it was reasonable for her to check on his story, because she wouldn't want to punish him for something that was truly not his fault.

I'd write back (ignoring the underlining and such) and say that he said the same thing to you and that you think he truly believed it (if that's the case -- you don't want her thinking she was intentionally lying to her if he wasn't), but that he was mistaken, and he realizes that now.  I'd also designate a place at home for incomplete homework (a particular drawer or whatever) and let her know that you've done that and that you hope that will avoid problems like this in the future.

There is nothing to be gained from yelling at a teacher with whom your child is placed for the rest of the year.  I'd take the high road and address the particular issues and keep your opinions of her to yourself.