How should I talk to this kid about hygiene?

Question

I do volunteer work with at risk kids. There's this one boy who is 9 years old that I want to get some opinions on. He is always covered in dirt, I mean there is dried up mud on his legs, his hair is always dirty, and his clothes are not really that clean either. I know its summer and he spends a lot of time playing outside and he's bound to get dirty, that's expected. Today though I noticed his legs were covered in dried up mud and I asked him if he had been playing in the woods. He said no and that the dirt was from three days ago. I asked him why he hadn't taken a bath and he told me he only takes a bath ONCE A WEEK. Also I learned from talking to him that he wears his regular daytime clothes to bed every night. I couldn't believe it, no pajamas or night clothes. I know it may not seem like a big deal but kids develop habits that they carry into adulthood. How should I talk to him and his Mom about the importance of bathing everyday and overall good hygiene without over stepping?

Answer 1

give him shampoo for christmas

good luck!!

Answer 2

Well I think you are aware of this judging by the last piece of your question here... It would be very difficult to talk to his mother about this as this is her child and just like every other mom out there (regardless of how well they take care of thier kids) she feels that she will "raise her child how she sees fit." So to approach her will be very difficult.

My advice would be to call child protective services or the health department and let them know of the situation.

If you want to take matters into your own hands:

in order to approach the child I might start with something like " I would like to talk to you about something very important that I don't want you to feel badly about, OK?" And go on to tell him about all the reasons why it is good to bathe. Explain the discomfort, diseases, opinions of other people and how damaging that can be to your growning up and then adult life. This is a hard one... his mom should be teaching him these things. Good luck.

Answer 3

It sounds to me, like he needs someone from social services to check into this. He's not being properly cared for. Is he getting regular meals? I would contact DHS or CSD and ask them what they think. Good for you, noticing and caring. I don't think I'

d say anything to the Mom at this point. It could be they honestly can' t afford shampoo etc. Is the Mom clean?

You could casually mention to Mom"Say, I've noticed he's always got mud stuck on him! Boy he must play outside alot!"  See what she says.

Answer 4

Are you sure he has running water?  Is there a shower wherever you volunteer?  

As a teacher, I'd approach the parent with something like this. "I'm a little concerned about Teddy.  Maybe you don't realize that he hasn't been bathing regularly.  I just thought you might want to know that he's been coming in here pretty dirty. I'd hate for the other kids to start making fun of him and for him to suffer because of this.  Is there anything I/we could do to help you out with this?  I want to make sure Teddy has the best chance in life."

Of course, you might just make her mad.  But, you might make her mad and then she takes care of it.  Or, you may learn something about their situation that you didn't know before, like the lack of running water, etc.

I'd talk to my supervisor and/or her before I called social services.  I adopted  a child who was "neglected" who had been in a string of foster homes.  Once you get "the system" involved, you can't go back and there may not be neglect going on.  Everyone has different views on cleanliness.  I would, however, call social services, if talking to a supervisor or the mom gets you nowhere.

Answer 5

Tell him that he can die if he doesn't get cleaned because people in Medieval Times was only expected to live up to 24. They were lucky if they reached 40. And half of the reason why they died so early was because they didn't take baths because they believed that it rubbed off good luck. So tell him to get cleaned or he can die at a young age!!!

Answer 6

At 9 years old, a boy this dirty should have his parents intervene.  They are the ones responsible for taking care of him, and they are being negligent.  I would skip talking to the boy about it and talk to his parents.  But listen to another answer because neglect like this should also be reported so that they can investigate what is going on at home.  This is definitely neglectful and borders on abuse.

Answer 7

well, basically I was about to tell you it ain't a big deal when i read the headline but as i read through I started to understand that it is a bit serious....We have a really big garden and when i was a child i litterally spent more time in garden than in home...I used to wake up, go out, come back for meals, and to sleep.

Then I started spending too much time out that i slept out as well, anyway I developed the same problem and everyone was trying to tell me to be cleaner and stuff and I never listened...I didn't even brush my teeth anymore...untill one day my grandpa told me:

Girls don't like dirty and smelly boys and if you have a bad breath the girls will never kiss you!

I went to shower everyday since then and brushed my teeth 2 times a day!

Answer 8

tell him that he can die if he doesn't get cleaned

Answer 9

Say this. "You know since your _____ years old girls are going to start liking you. If they don't already and you better keep clean."

Answer 10

that is really hard as it is the parent telling him he can only bath once a week. Is this a group you are with? Is there a leader that you can talk to for advice? Honestly this borders on neglect. It may be worth a call to Childrens services

Answer 11

Seriously, I would call social services.   Every call can be placed anonymously.  They will look into the living situation where he lives.

Sometimes its best to let the professionals do their job.  I wouldn't say a word & let the state does its job.

Answer 12

Um duh.  the way you would want it approached if it was you.

Doing it gently and with tact.  Tell him you just wanted to share something very important and that you do not want him to feel bad but ...

On a different note and not to be gross but I have a sister who likes to bathe only two or three times a week - lol!!!  She doesn't smell though and every BF she's had seems to love her!  She says she doesn't really have the 'time' to bathe!