How should I tell my parents that I'm pregnant?

Question

I'm 21 years old, and even though I know that's not that young I think my parents are going to be crushed when I tell them that I'm pregnant. I still have a year of college left (which I'm going to continue in this year), but I'm not married. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 and a half years but we have broken up before. Given the circumstances does anyone have any advice as to how I can tell my parents without breaking their hearts or making them feel disappointed in me?

Answer 1

Just tell them and get it over with. They are going to be disappointed and heart broken (as most parents would)...but give them time and as it gets closer to delivery they will come around (assuming they are caring, loving parents), and they will want to be a part of their grandchild's life....Luckily you are almost finished with college and you really will only have one semester to complete after the baby comes.....Just don't quit college....your first trimester of pregnancy can be really hard - but please don't stop going to class. You want the best for your baby - and a college degree for yourself is a great place to start giving him/her the best life possible.

Answer 2

i am also 21 and when i went to tell my father(my mother has passed) he wasn't mad at me at all all he said was that he wished i would have finished college and that he was to young to be a grandpa... i mean he was a little dissapointed that i didn't wait longer but this was a planned pregnancy and after a few weeks he was completely fine he actually calls me every day now to see how i am doing since im due in 13 days... All will be fine good luck

Answer 3

I think you should go with your boyfriend to see them.  Tell them something along the lines of - "This is not how we planned things to happen, but it turns out that we are expecting a baby.  We understand if you are shocked or disappointed right now, and you should take some time to absorb this information.  Our hope is that you will come to embrace this news because we could really use your advice and support right now.  We trust you and love you, and want you to be every bit a part of this child's life."  

Answer 4

If your parents are people who would feel disappointed by this announcement, there is no way you can break the news to them that will cause them not to feel disappointed.  One of the biggest hurdles to overcome as you become an adult is to be able to move past fear of your parents' disapproval or disappointment when you have made your own choices.  You have to realize that you cannot control their reactions or their emotions; you can only control your own behavior/reactions.  Sit down with your boyfriend, make intelligent decisions about how you are going to conduct things from here on out: are you keeping the baby? are you getting married? are you going to try to continue school? how are you going to support yourself and a child? etc. etc..  When you have your plans firmly in place, then you go to your parents, explain to them that you are expecting, and then outline for them the decisions you and your boyfriend have reached. That way, they will understand that at least you aren't running to them to fix the problem; instead, you will be behaving like an adult, which will decrease their fears and disappointment, but won't eliminate it completely.  It may still be a long time before your parents can come to terms with this unexpected twist, but remember, their main worry is their daughter, and the more they see you handling your life competently, the happier (and less disappointed) they will be.  Best of luck.

Answer 5

Yes! I was 18 in my first year of college when I got pregnant.  Me & my boyfriend broke up many times, and our 5 year anniversary will be in November.  Anyhow, my parents took it pretty alright...

however, I did promise them that I was going to finish school.

I am now 9 1/2 months pregnant & just started school yesterday.  I am planning to finish my associates in December & Im sure that my parents will be twice as proud once I get it.

Answer 6

Yeah, their gonna find out in 9mnths anyway.If they are going to be dissapointed then you cant avoid it, just be honest and tell them your plan with finances, a home, etc.

If one of my daughters did it, [i woulnt mind, you are 21]  but at an age where i would be heart-broken [like under 20] I'd be at least glad to hear she had a plan, she knew what she was going to do, thats all parents worry about. Your well-being &well-fare.

Answer 7

Ask him to go with you to tell your parents about the baby. But make sure you guys assure them that you will continue school and take care of the baby. Tell them how responsible you are. They should understand

Answer 8

YOu are an adult and made your own adult decision to have s*x with your adult boyfriend.  What can they possibly do? As long as you don't require financial assistance from them, they should chill.  

Answer 9

I've always liked the idea of walking in rubbing your belly and say something like "Good mornin' Gramma!" or "Happy (Insert Holiday Here)'s Day Gramps!"

But I don't think that quite fits your situation. (My friend did it for April Fools Day in it was spectacular).

I say just, sit em down, and tell em. There's not much better you can do. They should understand that you're old enough to make your own decisions, your almost done with your schooling, and you have a long term bf even if it IS on and off.

You could always hint at it for awhile, point out kids and say you want one... Describe the symptoms ("You know... I'm feeling SO sick this morning.. But for some reason I have the STRANGEST craving for Crab Legs").. I think that would make it easier for me to hear from my children, as then they would suspect it instead of being completely shocked.

Another option would be to pretend like you don't know, and lead your parents through the discovery. It IS lying, but they may take it easier.. Start with describing some symptoms, cravings, tiredness.... Tell your mom your period is missed/late... And tell her you're really worried you may be pregnant... They have them (or whichever parent you feel more comfortable with), come with you to buy and take the pregnancy test that you know will come back positive.

Its not the best way, I guess, but it would take the edge off the shock. I don't think there's anyway to avoid the disappointment but this way there is a lead up to it and not a sudden shock.  

Depending on how close you are/ how you've been acting around them, they may suspect something is up anyways.

Answer 10

They will feel how they choose to feel. They may be disappointed that you chose to get pregnant (or risk it) as an unmarried person, but you can understand they'd probably have preferred you were through school and into your career, and in a serious long-term stable relationship with someone because they know what a challenge having a child is.

Just tell them and don't try to sugar-coat it or make more or less out of it than it is. Tell them you are pregnant and are expecting a baby in <month> and then go from there. Any upset feelings they have will dissipate as the pregnancy goes on and they anticipate the birth of their grandchild.

Best wishes...

Answer 11

i really wouldnt worry about it that much, i was only with my fella 3 months before i got pregnant at 20 and my parents were fine, excited if anything.ive now bin with my fella just over 4 years and 33 weeks pregnant with our 3rd. good luck,xx