How should I tell people the extras they have included are not allowed to come?

Question

I sent out invites mid July and have been receiving my RSVP's but the problem is several people have included other people on the card. I addressed them to the individual "and guest" and several have replied back with 3 or 4 adults when clearly only two were specified on the invite. (the invitee and the guest)

I just can't believe how rude some people are to assume they can bring other people with them, like it doesn't cost for all those people.

Is there a way to do this without sounding as rude as they were for marking additional guests on their rsvp? I am really irritated about this. I just can't understand how people think they can add whomever they want!

Answer 1

Yeah that is just plain rude and unacceptable! You need to let bridezilla shine for a little and put your foot down. They have no right to do it to you and you can be polite whilst being firm. You don't have to take that rubbish.  

Answer 2

I would call them and say that you are restricted to a certain number and as much as you would love to have everyone there it is impossible so the people they have added to the RSVP will be unable to come.

Answer 3

This happened to me in my wedding!

Here's what I did and what you should do too. I called the people who did this and said:

"Hello_____, I'm so happy you can come to the wedding! However, I saw on your RSVP card that you put more then one guest on the card. I'm sorry, but the church and reception place can only hold so many, and I'm sorry to say, but we can only fit you and ONE guest. Please pick one of the guests you put on the RSVP cards and tell me whom you are inviting so I can get name cards straigtned out. Again, I'm very sorry."

Good luck and congrats!

Answer 4

Have an aunt or close family friend make the calls (cause you have enough on your plate as it is i'm sure) and say "I'm sorry about the misunderstanding, but due to the limitations of the venue, you are actually only able to bring one additional guest to the wedding.  It's unfortunate but we just will not have the capacity to accommodate the others you have invited.  So please just chose one of those guests to bring, thanks and a-buh-bye"

Answer 5

Omg! That is terrible. Who do people think they are? You need to just call them and explain that you a limited number of space and you are sorry but you can only accommodate 2 people. If they do not understand, they shouldn't be invited anyway. People are soooo rude!

Answer 6

I feel your pain. I've had people rsvp for them and their guest and then call and see if their guest can bring a guest to feel more comfortable and my mom basically just had to tell them that if their guest didn't feel comfortable coming to my wedding they should find another guest and that the limit was 2.

My mother in law passed a paper around her work and told everyone "come to my son's wedding!" and when people said "i don't know him" she was saying "but its free food". So she had a guest list of 50 coworkers and it took a lot of prodding to get her to knock it down to 25. And honestly, no it is NOT free food. My beloved dad is paying for their free food.

I think you should have someone ELSE call them (maybe your mom/dad or fiance) since they might think you are some sort of deranged bridezilla (even though they were the rude ones to begin with). Tell them that the invitation was only for 2 and that if you have room to spare after the rsvp deadline, you will pass that news on to them so that their additional guest/s could attend, but only after the deadline. Just tell them that seating is limited (don't tell them its because of costs, since you will get a barrage of "oh i'll pay for the extra guest"...trust me, people honestly say that ).

Just say:

"seating is really limited so I would prefer if you kept it to 1 additional guest. If we find out we are short some people, I will be sure to tell you and your additional guests are more than welcome at that point."

Answer 7

you do have a phone?  make some phone calls and explain.  happy nuptials.

Answer 8

Wow!  I've never heard of or even considered that!  I think that that is very rude.  If they wanted to bring someone else they should have called and asked first.  Thats tough!  I guess the only thing you can do is call them.  Good luck!

Answer 9

This happened last year with us, My son got married in Sept. and his grandfather was living with my husbands youngest brothers family and we had not talked to them in 12 yrs. (long story) but kept ties with my father in-law, We sent him an invitation just for him only his name on the envelope, when we received the response back it had six names on it, there was no way we were going to have them at the wedding, So my son called to let my sister in-law know that the invite was only meant for his grandfather, she told my son that if the whole family wasn't invited grandpa wasn't going! I'm sorry the story is so long , but you have to call these people up and just tell them that the only people invited is the people on the invitation, there really is No other way. Yes it is very rude of them but sometimes you have to rude back. Even if it is ex. family.

Answer 10

My own aunt did that to me for my wedding. The reception area was only able to hold so many and due to the expense I could only invite her boyfriend and not his children (who are adults). I simply called her and said "I'm sorry but I listed you and A guest on the invitation, I don't want to be rude or hurt anyones feelings but we have limited space and limited money so there is no way I can accommodate these extra people" She wasn't happy about it but the truth is I could have cared less. If you didn't invite someone then NO ONE has the right to just assume they could invite whom ever they wish. You HAVE to be upfront and let these people know. It's not right and it's not fair to you.

Answer 11

Thats Bloody rude!!!!!!!

"Hi (insert  name of presumptuous guest here) I'm just  calling to confirm your RSVP for our wedding. I noticed you have added a couple of extra names to your RSVP card and I'm really sorry, but  due to space and budgetary constraints I'm going to have to ask you to  bring just  one  guest" I'm sorry to put you on the spot like this, if you like i can call you back in a couple of days to give you time to think about who you would like to bring  but  I need to let the caterer know meal preferences and final numbers by x*x date"

Answer 12

I don't think there is a good way to say that. That's a tough situation.

I would call the people who RSVP-ed more than two. Let them know you only have enough seating for those you sent the invites to plus ONE guest. Since they are the ones who added the names, let them be responsible for telling them that they can't come due to limited seating arrangements.  

Answer 13

It is both rude and wrong.  Unfortunatley you are going to have to contact these people and explain that your budget dictates that there be a severe limit to the number of people that can attend.  Tell them not to bring the extra people they wrote onto the RSVP because there will be no seat or food or any preparation for them and it would be an embarassement to everyone WHEN THEY ARE TURNED AWAY AT THE DOOR.  Say that you are sure they will understand and you look forward to seeing them and their ONE guest at the reception.  Have someone with the guest list at the door and turn away the uninvited.