How should i act when im with my friend that lost a family member?

Question

my best friend just lost her brother today .he got shot . so she came to my house to pick up some things and just told me every! the first thing that she said is"they killed my brother" of course i was so shocked that i didnt know wut to say.then she told me wut had happened n stuff .normally she was crying her self out and i was crying too maybe a little bit more then needed.so my question is was it bad for me to cry too .i also wanted to say things like be stong and ull get through this but nothing came out.it looked really bad.i want to know wut i can do next time she comes to my house should i cry with her try to cheer her up n stuff?if yes how? we are only 13 years old by the way. i rwally need ur opinion thankz!!=)

Answer 1

ok first of all it is ok to cry because you have feeling too. you crying showed her that you cared about her brother too. just let her know that you are there for her and that if she needs anything your here. you have a ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on and a room for her to stay when she needs to get away. hope this helps

Answer 2

being a parent that lost a son in an "accidental" shooting, i feel compelled to comment.........

be supportive.....ask what you can do......bring food to the family.....

do little errands for them....listen.....the whole family is in a lot of pain and in a stupor at the same time........listen........say nice things about the dead brother........listen.......cry.......he... there to do little things......100's  of people are going to show up their house....

take out the trash.......cold cuts for sandwiches...paper plates.....bedding for out of town mourners.........food.....listen to the stories.....

the pain for them will always be with them.....just under the surface in a few years........now they are hemorrhaging......

LISTEN TO THE SAME STORY OVER AND OVER AGAIN.......SAY THINGS LIKE, HE WAS A GREAT KID, FUNNY, KIND, GOOD, SMART, YOU HAVE MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY........i'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS

DO NOT AVOID THE FAMILY.....BE THERE TO HELP, WASH DISHES, TRASH OUT, PICK UP STUFF, LISTEN.........DID I SAY LISTEN......THEIR WHOLE LIFE HAS JUST BEEN BLOWN APART.......FOOD FOR VISITORS, PAPER CUPS, PAPER TOWELS, FOOD FOR THEM, CLEAN AND WASH DISHES.......

PEOPLE WILL CONSTANTLY VISIT THEM, THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DO ROUTINE STUFF LIKE SHOP FOR TOILET PAPER OR MILK BREAD ETC..

SERVE ANYWAY YOU CAN

Answer 3

One of my best friend's dad just shot himself, and he had a perfect life, and no one saw it coming, so I know how your feeling.

You have to be their for her, if she needs something just help her with it.

It's going to be hard for her so here's my best advice:

It doesn't matter if you cry or get confused or sad, the point is just be there for her no matter what.  

Answer 4

It wasnt bad of you to cry

Im sure she finds it nice that you care !

:)

Dont act different; If she brings it up then say something like "im really sorry hes in a better place"