How should i be disciplining my 7 yr old daughter for getting in trouble at school everyday?

Question

we have grounded from tv, toys, games, etc. did time out, spanked, did no snacks after school, did no extra activities. what else can we do?

what is really frustrating is she is doing the same thing everyday. constant talking and not paying attention. she has already been moved by her self and sent to the principles office.

Answer 1

Talk to the teacher and set up a behavior plan. My opinion as a teacher is that misbehavior, other then the most serious should be dealt with by the teacher. I use a point system and a behavior chart. weekly or daily reports are sent home with the child. so the parents know what kind of a day the student had but I do not expect the parent to punish the child.

Maybe the teacher could send home a daily report and focus on what your daughter did well also. this would give you a chance to praise your daughter and help increase her self esteem.

Answer 2

if her grades are not suffering than it sounds to me like she is burnt out of the same ol everyday step by step ruetine kids at this age need change and something to look foreword to after accomplishing her school work.please let her know you are proud of her good grades, and be thankful the notes are simple as not paying attention and not she is a threat or something worse.

Answer 3

You say she is at the top of her class, maybe she needs more schoolwork to do. Her learning level might be higher than her grade. Talk with her teacher find out what triggers her. There are many questions that should be addressed.

1) Is there any changes in the family?

2) Is she doing the same thing at home?

3) Is there anything different at school? (new teacher, new student, problems with other kids)

4) Has she had her hearing, vision tested recently?

5) Does she get sick frequently? (colds, flu, stomach aches, etc.)

6) Does she have any food allergies?

7) Has she been tested for ADHD or ADD?

The list goes on, but since your punishments are not working, try eliminating other possible problems before you dole out anymore punishment.

In my daycare I have several special needs children, what you described is the same as two of my DC kids, here's the thing.... they have a different diagnosis. One of the kids' is ADHD/ODD (and very advanced academically for his age) and the other has a 68% hearing loss due to cronic congestion. So punishing these 2 would be defeating the purpose.

Answer 4

Go to school with her (one day), sit in her class, eat lunch with her, at recess you two read a book (embarrass her)

How is she doing in school?  If she is not doing well academically --- request the school to test her for learning disabilities --- she may not be interested in work because it is hard for her.

Answer 5

I learned to focus on the positive and not the negative! I first tried having the teacher send home a number (1-5) on her behavior. And for anything over 3 she would get to do something special. That worked for a few months...and i stopped it because i didnt like that the teacher used it as an example for other kids. Drama. So now...i reward her on her good behavior with activities. I.E. if she does pretty good all week then she gets to go horseback riding...or have a special play date etc.  Try not to focus on the bad stuff...she is a kid and maybe still a little immature. she is only 7 years old. My daughter got in trouble once for giggling! GIGGLING!! she is a a 6years old GIRL!! i choose not to punish her for that...pick your battles.  I understand your pain...but remember she is only 7 years old....just try to talk to her and explain how her behavior also effects you....

Answer 6

Talk to her teachers and tell them to make stricter rules for her. Make her do military work, and lots of chores

She then might start to feel the pain

Answer 7

she sounds like she has a.d.d i would bring her to a therapist espically if after all the disiplining you have done has not helped her at all. kids her age usually learn their lesson espically if they get spanked. there is nothing wrong with disciplining your child not discilining her will make her think it's okay.

Answer 8

she might just need to talk or learing problems and thinks before it gives up on her  she'll give up on it

Answer 9

maybe you can talk to the teacher about giving her some more challening work or activities during or after school, she might just be bored. stay away from a.d.d medications!

Answer 10

I've been student teaching this year so I've seen this situation a lot in my classroom. You mentioned that your daughter is getting good grades so she isn't struggling. It sounds like she may be unchallenged during class and she is acting out due to boredom. This is just a guess though and it would be better to have a conference with the teacher to get a clearer picture.

Answer 11

Extra chores

Early bedtime

No allowance

Homework as soon as she walks in the door

Extra work

Write a paper stating she will grow up and behave or she will keep doing all this work.

Answer 12

Looks as though your daughter is not sufficiently challenged at school. It's very difficult for a smart girl to sit still and not talk when thinks move froward much too slowly for her quick mind. Can she move up one grade? Or at least be given special tasks by the teacher, or be made a temporary teacher's helper? That might help.

Answer 13

if she has a allowance take it away and if that doesn't work then just go to school and ask if she can work with a teacher by herself so she won't get distracted.

Answer 14

SHE IS BORED BECAUSE SHE IS AHEAD OF THE OTHER KIDS.  GET HER ON A SPECIAL ACCELERATED PROGRAM.

Answer 15

You need to go to school and observe the class room. What does she tell you is going on? She is apparently desperate for attention. Maybe she needs to get more from you/

Answer 16

As a teacher, here is my honest opinion:

she is bored. Children who are extremely smart and ahead of the others will be bored at school and therefore misbehave. I do not think that punishing her will work (obviously it hasn't). She needs encouragement and opportunities to grow and learn, to keep her mind busy. Do not keep punishing her, as this will just make her hate school, when she should be learning to excell and love it.

I would look into extra-curricular opportunities where she will learn. If she is emotionally mature, she may need to skip a grade, but I think if the teacher just gives her extra work etc. she will behave on her own.

Of course she is talking and not paying attention! Imagine having to sit through a boring seminar at work about something you already know! Your collegues are all having a hard time understanding, but you get it in the first five minutes. Would punishment help? NO. Giving you something that challenges you would.

Talk to her teacher about this.

Good luck. You sound like a great parent and I know you'll help her excell.

Answer 17

get her tested for add or adhd it sounds like she is bored to me, i know you probably don't want her to grow to fast also get her tested for a different grade level.

Answer 18

OK, first off, there really is no top of the class at age 4, but anyway, why don't you try focusing on the positive rather than the negative?  Stop, and do a 180.  She is probably already being punished at school for her behavior, right?  Dual punishment is ineffective and frustrating for kids.  Perhaps you could create a behavior chart at home.  Every time she gets a good day, she can earn a sticker.  5 stickers means a trip to Mc Donalds or something.  Give her a better reason to behave rather than to keep out of trouble.