How should or should I come out to my parents yet?

Question

Ok so I've pretty much always had an angry dad. For everything I did wrong he'd shout like a mad man. Anyway I told basically the whole world except my family (brother, mom, dad, grandparents etc.). Anyway I feel like he would totally hate me if he found out I was g*y. s***w the whole all parents love their kids for who they are. My mom would be cool with it but NOT my dad. I'm going to 9th grade so do you think I should come out to him before highschool or at all? Don't know definately I think after I moved out and I'm on my own.

Answer 1

i know how you feel with the father thing same deal here but with the sexuality thing just tell your mom and tell her not to let your dad know if its that much of a biggie thats what i do my dad is just a person with a name in my view hes basically out of the pic i tell my mom everything and anything  so tell your mom and people you trust and about the highschool thing i know the whole pride thing you want to come out and tell ppl but just wait to tell the world after highschool hoghschool is basically living h**l on earth when you become a freshman  after yopur freshie year things become chill but the first year everyone is looking for something to take the spotlight off them and put it on someone else and alsolooking for oppurtunities to breach new cliques sso you will most likely have a rough time in highschool if you come out with it just tell your family thats what i would do if i were g*y and wanted to be open about it hope that helps

~Cory~

Answer 2

This is a personal decision no one can make for you.  I've had g*y friends who were "out" to their families with no problems and others who chose the "don't ask; don't tell" philosophy with their parents.  You know best how your parents will react, and you will be the one who has to cope with that reaction.

You may want to consider your age and any religious affiliations you have before making the decision to tell them.  Particularly because you are young, many people will believe you can be "reformed".  Some religions are more tolerant than others.  For example, one of my daughter's friends comes from a religion that has disfellowshipped him.  He must attend church, but no one is permitted to talk to him, which is a pretty miserable situation for him.  So, in order to avoid some emotionally painful situations and a lot of undesired advice, you may want to wait until you're older.  You could also find yourself being restricted from many normal social events in an effort to keep you away from "bad influences" once your parents know.

On the other hand, sometimes your parents can come through for you when you wouldn't expect them to.  Though your dad sounds unlikely to be accepting of your sexual orientation, he might surprise you, especially if your mother is supportive.

What you might want to do is take opportunities to "feel them out" about homosexuality when opportunities arise.  For example when news stories come up about public figures who are g*y or when movies have a g*y theme, you might want to ask some subtle questions to determine how they would feel before you tell them.

Again, though, this is a personal decision.  Only you know how you feel about telling them.  Just understand that it is not something you NEED to tell them at this point in your life unless you want to, and it could have repercussions that will impact you until you are old enough to move out.

Answer 3

Your mother might feel obligated to tell your father.

It might feel like dishonesty for her to keep it from him since they are married.

Please consider this if you decide to tell you rmother.

If he's really that angry I'd wait until moving day... it's only a few more years.

Also, he may actually already know....

Answer 4

You can survive shouting, but if there's even a small chance of him hitting you, don't come out to him.  Maybe you could tell your Mom and brother though if you think you want to.

Answer 5

wait till you move out - your friends know right? that's pretty much all that matters...

that's my policy anyway - i'm not telling my parents for a while - they simply don't need to know

Answer 6

keep quite untill u will be ready for the worst consiquences