How should we handle daughter's 8th birthday party?

Question

My husband and I moved about 8 hours away from his family a year ago. We now live near my parents. We are trying to determine how to handle his daughter's (R) birthday this year. Last year she didn't have a party because it was right after our wedding, and we didn't get a chance to put something together. It was just my parents and the neighbors, and ourselves.

Anyways, when I was younger birthday parties were with grandparents, aunts, and uncles. But R's aunts and uncles all live 6-8 hrs away. We now live near my aunts, uncles, and cousins. My cousins have young daughters also, and they have parties and invite the kids great aunts and uncles and 2nd cousins.

My husband says this is the way we should do it for R, but I think if we keep celebrating 2nd cousin's birthdays, then this will never end and will get out of hand. i would rather let R have a birthday with friends, and then a small get together with my parents and my husband's parents, if they can make the trip. My husband says if we do this, then we will not go to any of my 2nd cousin's birthday parties anymore. And he says then we are keeping R from spending time with the little girls.

I don't know what to do. I think it is ridiculous to be celebrating birthdays for my 2nd cousins, and if this continues, then as my cousins continue to have kids it will never end.... I also want R to have a great birthday, and I don't want to deny her a family birthday party.

any thoughts or advice would be great.

Answer 1

I think it's okay to go to the cousin's birthdays if they are close by.  Not if they are hours away.  We've lived far from family before and have to pick and choose what we do.  Especially nowadays.  I've been to parties for kids where some of the family is present.  It usually seems to work out, because then there are more adults to talk to.  These parties seem to be where the parents usually stay (for 6 yr. olds).  Anyways, I would throw her a party with her friends because she missed out last year.  If it's just a party at your house, then invite the family along.  If it's more like going to another place for it, just invite the friends.  On another weekend, you can invite family over for some lunch and conversation.  Then, she can open gifts from them seperate from her friends.   Just pick a day, and don't get caught up with people telling you when they can make it.  

Answer 2

CELEBRATE TOGETHER  

Answer 3

oh i say the more the merrier. We still have b-day parties for my kids and invite the family. My kids just see it as more presents. I guess its just a matter of your budget and whether you can afford to feed everyone. GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 4

A small party with close friends at home.  Invite your family as a nice gesture.  Stop this second cousin nonsense because you live way to far away.  Your husband needs to let go already.