How should we handle this?????

Question

Ok, here is the situation. My nephew is 10 years old and a bit out of control with his behavior. I think it is because both of his parents work and my parents pretty much watch him everyday so it is almost like he is being raised by my parents instead of his parents. My husband and I own a canopy tent that we put up for parties and stuff like that and this week we are putting it up in my parents yard because the family has a party coming up. I know that my nephew will be there because my brother and sister in law will be helping to put the canopy tent up. Last time we tried to put it up my nephew was out of control and trying to boss everybody around and would not slow down and I remember my husband getting very angry with him because he was frustrated with him and was afraid of the tent ripping because of how my nephew was acting. My nephew was trying to take the project over. Which he kept getting way out of line. What can we do this time so that we don't have a repeat of that this time? Should we maybe mention something to his parents beforehand?

Answer 1

Since you are anticipating a problem think of a job for your nephew to do and assign him that chore.  He will stay away from the tent and be busy doing the task assigned to him.  If that doesn't work then you will have to first ask his parents to discipline him or do it yourself.  A 10 year old should not be allowed to call the shots.

Answer 2

If no one is willing to sort this child out and put some manners on him...then you will have to do it, it's your tent! ask the parents to deal with it as soon as he starts and if they don't then you and your husband need to tell this boy who is the adult ..you could also try getting him very involved with the things you are doing..give him certain jobs to do...it does seem that this child is very spoilt and he has no manners when around adults..remember you are the adults , don't take any rudeness or bad manners from him.

Answer 3

Since nephew's parents don't seem to bother much about discipline I think it is for you & your husband to establish it.

You may not be comfortable with this as it is to be put up in your parents yard but it is your tent not theirs.

Best wishes. UK

Answer 4

tjnstlouismo is right though.  Find something your nephew can be in charge of doing or find a job with the tent that he can do under someone else's supervision.  While I wouldn't put even my 10 year old IN CHARGE of something this big, I also wouldn't have a problem assigning her a job related to the whole endeavor.  In fact, I have done that with similarly expensive items we own so she learns responsibility.

What ever you do talk to your parents or even better his parents before you start and make sure they know your concerns and are ready to step in to take him out of the way if you or your husband feel he needs to be removed.  

Answer 5

This is not your child, that's why his parents resent you trying to tell them how to parent. You have two choices. You can do the smart thing and put him in charge of the project. By making him responsible, giving him some perceived power, you not only help his self esteem but you solve your own problem. Or you can tell both your parents and his parents that because of his past behavior and their lack of discipline, you won't put it up.

Btw, its not because your parents are raising him, they raised you didn't they? Its because he's 10 and apparently the only child in a household of adults. You are going to have a son who will be 10 some day. I think you need to figure out a better resolution than just complaining about a child.