How should you respond when someone makes an offensive joke/remark but are not aware of it?

Question

For example, your family is dining at a restaurant and a relative jokes that his wife should, "bake [him] a pie", suggesting his wife act more "womanly", a sexist remark. How should one respond?

Answer 1

That's hardly bad enough to warrant making a scene in public. Just ignore it. If you make a big deal of every little remark that bothers you it will just make you look bad. If this relative is constantly saying offensive things you could speak to him in private, but I wouldn't. You don't want to hurt your relationship. You don't have to agree with him, just ignore any of his comments.

Answer 2

I would jump across the table and punch his lights out.

Answer 3

I personally would have told him to be a man, get the check, and change my oil..

Choose your battles.  You don't have to like the way others think and behave but sometimes your just going to be picking a pointless fight.  If you must say something, do it privately.  Saying something to him in front of a whole group of people is going to make him feel attacked.  He'll get defensive and he won't hear what your saying anyway.  If and when you do talk with him privately, just tell him when you make comments like that I feel small or offended or upset or what ever because comments like that belittle women.  good luck.

Answer 4

If it is a man making a joke about his wife, best to stay out of it. You may stick up for her and he might get mad, and maybe she will too. Relationships are a funny thing. Also, if he is a real nasty sort of person that puts down his wife, he might not take to it too kindly, and take it out on her when she gets home.

Just dont say anything.

But having said that, myself and my girlfriend have a running joke between one another where she says to me, "Make me a cup of tea, L*****n". Anyone else would think this weird but we just crack up like idiots.

Answer 5

You never know, that could be an inside joke between the two of them. Maybe he was hinting at something from their bedroom or something.  If he truly was trying to make some sort of point with his wife the last thing you want to do is get in between a married couple's sparring.

To answer your question in general, I admit - I am not confrontational and I know what I do in these situations.  I change the subject.  

Answer 6

oh welll........ umm be angry and defend urself

Answer 7

Just smile back.. if the person is ignorant of it.. it was not a joke made with bad intentions and to say something then will only make everyone uncomfortable so I would change the subject soon after the joke and talk about something totally different.. that way nobody gets humiliated and this person was only ignorant.. not offensive on purpose...if he is a friend I would take him aside at a later time and tell him what his joke could mean and maybe he should tell some other jokes but I would not embarrass him in front of others.. xx

Answer 8

In a setting out in public I would ignore the comment and of course, not laugh.

Answer 9

Tell hers to bake me one too!

Answer 10

I'm sure they are well aware of it! You should either ignore them (if you're feeling polite) OR tell them off for being a chauvinist and let them know you will not tolerate that behavior.