How terrible ARE the terrible two's?

Question

I have to kids, both boys, one is 16 months, one 18 weeks. I know they'll both go through it, and probably both at the same time for a couple of months, but just how bad is it? They're good kids now, and my 16 month old is doing really well with his communication, so he Will understand being told off, I'm just starting to brick it a bit!!

Answer 1

I take very strong offense to those that answered "if you're a good parent then you have nothing to worry about"!  You all need a great big reality check!!!!

Every child is different.  My son is 28 months.  I'm a SAHM (so you can't blame daycare), I don't yell at him, I don't spank him, I give him choices, we have rules and routines... all the things many described as things "a good parent" does and I still have to deal with tantrums.  We'll be having fun or he'll be playing on his own and absolutely nothing will change and for no apparent reason he will have a complete meltdown out of nowhere.

Now that I've defended myself...

As I said, it really depends on the child.  I've read some books that say at this age it's safe to expect 4-5 tantrums a day.  I consider myself fortunate and usually it's only 1-3 (some days we don't have any).  Sometimes he has a hard time with transitioning from one thing to another, for example ~ he hates to come inside after playing outside.  I try to diffuse the situation quickly by having a bath all ready for him.  He loves to play in the bath so it calms him down quickly.  For some reason he's fine when bath time is over.  Most of the time planning is key ~ if you know something specific sets them off, be prepared.

Tantrums are never pretty.  But unfortunately it's just something that some of us have to go through.  By no means is it an indicator that you or your child are bad!  Sometimes they just want attention, and sometimes they just want to be left alone.  Sometimes they are just over tired, hungry or thirsty.  You do your best to deal with it and know they will grow out of it eventually (I hope!)

At any rate, I wouldn't worry about it until it happens.  Maybe you'll be one of the fortunate ones!

Good luck!

Answer 2

You're going to fail horrible, not matter what you do.  I wouldn't even try.  Not matter what you do, I will never be good enough.  Adoption is the only answer.

Answer 3

Each child differs.

I have three kids and one of them had terrible two's until they were 4!

It is a case of dealing with it. If you think they are bad, wait till they hit teenage!

arghhh!

Answer 4

erm well my daughter is 3years 4months .. i am still waiting for the terrible twos!!! ;-) .. everyone then told me, well, you may of been lucky but you have the vicious three's next!!!!! never even heard of them!!! luckily we haven't got there either (touch wood!!) ..go with the flow hun, i'm sure they won't be as bad as you are thinking ... i always ignore bad behaviour.. i walk away.. but good stuff, she gets loads of praise ..that seems to work!! ;)

Answer 5

I think it all depends on the kid. Some aren't bad at all...while others just make you want to scream. My nieces and nephews weren't bad. The least they would do was play with the pots and pans. But after being told no a few times, they quit. While some other kids I've seen...they touch EVERYTHING and climb on everything that is climbable. My cousins son would pull out all of the movies off the shelves...picture frames that he could reach? He broke every single one. He was constantly running around the house. Climbing on sofas and jumping off. Climbing on the coffee table and jumping off of it.

I can go on and on about how terrible some of them can get. But I'll stop there.

From what I've noticed, it also depends on the parents too. My sister and brother-in-law would put my nieces and nephews in time out and tell them No and stuff when they were being naughty. But the other kids I've seen...their parents don't say anything. If they do say anything...its about how talented their child is.  

Answer 6

It's not really bad. It's fun! I have a 2 year old and she's a handful and you do need to be tough on them, but they are also really sweet and they generally just want to be independent. let him help out and do some things himself. That makes them feel good.

Answer 7

For me 3's were worse than 2's.  You cannot change them and make them happy campers when they are little.  This is part of the normal childhood.  They will test you, test their boundries, definetly set boundries.  They will throw tantrums, they will hit, knock things over just to see your reaction, etc...The hard part for you is they are close in age so they will play off each other at that age.  Also, remember they do grow up of course then you deal with hormones.

Answer 8

I am with Proud Mommy. The parents that have an easy time with it pat themselves on the back about what a good job they did. Meanwhile other parents can do the exact same things with their kid and end up with a little h**l-raiser. Some kids are naturally more stubborn and have a lower tolerance for frustration than others. Some are more compliant.

Not to say that poor parenting cannot contribute to behavior problems, but if you do end up with a "terrible two" don't beat yourself up thinking it is your fault.

Answer 9

they arent too bad! my son will be 2 in september and we have had the terrible 2's stage for a month or so already! they tantrums are bad and if they dont want to do something they will surely enough let you know lol they understant to an extent on being told off but persit! when a tantrum starts try to find out the sorce hungry? bored? wanting attention? try walking into another room with your child i find this helps alot and soon stops the tantrum (unless they have been naghty and are having the tantrum because they have been told of then inthis case leave them to have it out!)

Answer 10

It depends. The terrible twos just means that the child gets a little more hyper and are more curious to see how far they can push there parents. Just give him a set of rules and if he breaks the rules put him on time out. If he's two put him on time out for two minutes. When he's three put him on time out for three minutes. When I babysit for kids that are at that age the parents usually give me the rules and that if he doesn't follow them they have a cooking timer that they labeled the time out timer and when the child finally stays at time out you set the time for two minutes and when it goes off you walk to the child. Tell them what they did, why it was wrong, and that they need to say that they're sorry. If they don't say they're sorry they stay there until they say sorry. It works trust me.

Answer 11

It depends on how you treat your children. If you are constantly yelling at them, and not telling them what to you in a nicely manner, they will become misbehaved, and yell because they heard you yell, and they copy everything their role models do.

If you give your child respect, they will give you respect. Although, the way you treat them now will affect their personalities when they are older. If you are a good mom, they will not be "TERRIBLE". They will have some tantrums, and yet, what child doesn't, right?  

Answer 12

If they are good kids then you have nothing to worry about, my daughter is 3.5 now and she is  wonderful, we never went through any terrible two's its all about how you raise them...Good Job mum!

Answer 13

my kids were well ahead when it came to commuicating but even so the second one was a real embarrasment, she would scream and cry because she wouldn't walk when she was 2, all the other mothers would stare when i went to collect the older one, she had only walked from the car to the playground, she used to throw herself down and then would scream all the way back to the car and then refuse to get in the car, i dont think it was through being unable to communicate she just couldnt get what she wanted, (to be picked up). that was the only experience of the 'terrible twos' i had but i have to tell you it went on for what seemed like an eternity although it was probably only about 2 or 3 months. boys however are supposed to be worse but i dont know. good luck with that lol x

Answer 14

The terrible twos will only be as bad as the parents allow them to be. If you have a good time with communication and discipline with your children, it shouldn't be so bad. Give them choices. Tell them they can either choose to go to bed now and you will help them, or they can choose to go to bed on their own. Thier choice, but they are going to bed. That is just one example of different choices you can give your toddler; it helps them to feel as if they are still being independent and making their own choices, with the help of the right parents, they will more often than not make better choices all of the time.

Don't change the way you are doing things now, it seems like things are fine for you and your children. All children will have a 'terrible twos' stage,  but only you can let it get out of control.

Good Luck.  

Answer 15

My son is only one but i've heard 3 is worse than two!! (Something to look forward to!)

Answer 16

It depends on the kids some kids don't go through the terrible two's or threes.

Don't plan for it and you might find you reach 4 with no problems what so ever.

Just continue being a great mum and stop worrying about it

Answer 17

When they get to that point, you won’t have to ask.

My son is also a great natured little boy. But he’s hit his terrible two’s at 21 months and well, it’s VERY patience wearing as a parent.

Just this morning I walked in my bedroom to grab a hair brush and when I walked out, he was standing on the TV stand with the world’s biggest smile. He knows d**n well that’s a no no but he did it just because. And was punished for it, to which he sat in time out with a smile.

The terrible two’s are so much fun and with your kids being so close in age, you’re going to have a BLAST!

Answer 18

You only have to watch out for the tantrums, easily avoided if you anticipate them.  I managed with 3 kids only 4 years between 1st and 3rd. It was never as bad as they say.

So Kat don't expect the worst because it seldom happens. You will know how to manage your two, take it one step at a time and enjoy them.  Babyhood is over far too quickly.  xx  A.