How to Handle a Screaming 2 year old Toddler?

Question

I Have a two year old toddler boy who screams when he doesnt get what he wants, how should i deal/discipline this behavior?

(asking for a friend)

Answer 1

I recommend responding calmly, and enforcing consequences that reinforce your feelings/decision about whether or not he gets what he wants. Two year olds are old enough to understand negative consequences and to learn how to avoid them. Here are a few concrete examples:

*** you are at the park w/ your son. it's time to go, he kicks and screams and throws a fit - first of all, don't give in, and don't react by yelling and getting mad or pleading with him. Just firmly say "It is time for us to go. If you are going to behave like this and kick and scream when it's time to leave the park, maybe we won't be able to come to the park in the future. Ignore his protests and screams, calmly carry him away. Remind him throughout the day. Did you go to the park today? Did you have fun at the park today? When it was time to go, the way you acted was not okay! If you want to go to the park tomorrow (or Wed. or whatever) you are going to have to listen when it's time to go home... This may not work the first time, but it will over time. Consistency is the MOST important thing with kids. Also, giving him a warning can diffuse the situation. Like "Joey, we need to leave the park in three minute okay? What's the last thing you'd like to do?" and then a two minute warning and then time to go. Again, this may not work the first time, but it will over time. Distractions work well too - engage him in saying goodbye to the park, the trees, birds, bench, people, sandbox etc and he will probably forget he's mad.

***  if the problem is more related to buying him stuff, again, you must be firm, consistent and calm. If, for example, he wanders around the store (Target, grocery store) and picks things up that he wants, it might be a good consequence to teach him that he will have to ride in the cart (where he can't grab things) because he doesn't listen when its time to put things back. Reinforce this idea everytime you go to the store, saying "Joey, I bet you'd love to walk next to Mommy's cart today wouldn't you? But do you remember last time, when you acted like a big baby and you whined and cried coz we couldn't buy the candy. So I guess today, you'll have to ride in the cart... But maybe next time you'll be ready to walk..."

This reinforces your authority, encourages him to control his own destiny by controlling his own behaviour. Good luck - the most important thing is to stay calm. Don't let him provoke your reactions.  

Answer 2

Mine tries to do that, but I don't pay attention to her.  (B/c that's what she wants)  If that doesn't help I put her in a time out.  As a last resort, I spat her once on her bottom and send her to bed.

Answer 3

I started to tell our 4 year old, "I can NOT hear you when you scream" and it's almost an instant change. I simply have done that with all the smart mouthing, demanding, etc "I can't help you if you are whining.... I can't hear you when you're throwing a fit..." and sometimes I will have to raise my voice so he can hear me, but when I say that, man it works!

However, since your friend's little one is only 2, it may not work with him... he may need a spanking after his mom warns him "if you scream (or whatever he's doing) one more time, I am going to spank you" and with no emotion, follow through. No anger, and no remorse afterwards-just follow through and that's it. Spankings may not do the trick though. They may need a time out facing the corner, maybe have him sit in his room alone until he calms down-however, if he's full blown SCREAMING/raging, that is NOT acceptable behavior.

Ultimately, not giving in is key. Even at the slightest HINT of a fit/tantrum, DO NOT give in to the demand. If it's a cookie and he start screaming when he's been told "no", I would throw the cookies away. Or, put them in the shelf. If he continues, I would try the spanking thing... if that still doesn't work, I would put him in his room... it's hard, but know, this is the age when for whatever reason, a toddler's brain goes crazy with this sort of thing, so know it DOES pass, I PROMISE! It's not fun, but it's very temporary, but must be handled appropriately and not allowed to happen because it won't stop if it's not dealt with.

Answer 4

Let him be, and then he will figure out that screaming for it will get him nowhere.

Answer 5

I know it sounds harsh, but you need to put him in his room, lt him cry it out.  It gives them a chance to think about and work through their feelings.  After he stops screaming, let him have some quiet time to calm down and be away from whatever made him upset.