How to NOT <span title="care............???????????">care............?????????...</span>

Question

I'm 25yrs old and have been out on my own completely for yrs now, my mother is overbearing and intrusive to the point it is inexcusable, my dad left her 7yrs ago and since then she kinda looked to me to take the place of husband, going every where for her doing the "man" work around the house all that kinda stuff and the emotional stuff as well, I put my own life on the back burner because she needed me and it was fine but she is now so dependent on me that if i date someone she freaks out saying that i dint love her and she thinks I'm gonna "leave her" when i get married the thing is that i have tried very very hard to get her blessing/approval and after years of frustration I have concluded that it will never happen, well this guy I'm dating now is amazing and i dont want to lose him (like i have lost others because of her) anyway we are talking about marriage and i know i wont ever get her blessing i just want to know how to deal with it on my end i have always pictured her being a part of my wedding plans/day and with out blessing she refuses to be involved at all....she wont even attend

Answer 1

I think it is time to let it go, and do what you need to, to have a happy and loving life. It is sad that your mother doesn&#039;t want you to be happy because she is so wrapped up in her selfishness. I think you need to tell her, you either be happy for me and want good things in life for me, or we can not have a relationship.

I heard talked to other people who have had mothers like this, and they have destroyed their daughters lives, you don&#039;t want to resent your mother your entire life, and you will if she keeps you from the happiness that you deserve.

Answer 2

Your mom needs to understand it&#039;s your turn to be happy.  You took care of her when you didn&#039;t have to.  She has no right to make you feel guilty.  Let your mom know you love her but it&#039;s time you started thinking about yourself.  You are not cold hearted, you just want to be able to enjoy your own life, there is nothing wrong with that.  Tell her you would love for her to be involved in the wedding, if she refuses it&#039;s her lose.  

Answer 3

Sweetie, you are at that point in your life when you need to tell you Mom what your plans are, instead of asking her if it&#039;s okay.  Go ahead with your wedding plans and tell Mom that you would like her to be part of this with you.  However, if she starts complaining, tell her that she doesn&#039;t have to be a part of it, if she doesn&#039;t want to.  Most times, a wedding is full of frantic, happy moments with your Mom.  If she doesn&#039;t like what you&#039;re doing, hey, you&#039;re an adult.  Be gentle, but firm.Good luck!