How to RSVP to a wedding when you aren't sure?

Question

I am invited to a wedding on Sept 13, and expecting a baby on Sept 8. It probably is more likely I can't go than can, but sure there still is a possibility I could make it. How do you properly rsvp when something like that is up in the air? If at all possible, I plan to go. If I'm still in the hospital or something, obviously I couldn't make it.

Answer 1

RSVP as a no.

It's wildly impolite to say yes, knowing there is a huge chance you can't go.  

Either way, why would you want to go to a wedding when you have an hours-old newborn at home?

Answer 2

Talk to the bride and let her know your situation.  I think that it's always better to rsvp yes and not be able to go, then to rsvp no and then show up.

I had this situation for my wedding last month.  Friends of mine were due to have their baby the Monday before the wedding.  They had told me that they really wanted to be there but weren't sure they could, it all depended on how she felt.  We made sure that we had enough room for them just in case. Thankfully, they were able to come.  

Answer 3

I would call them and explain the situation, and remind them of your due date. Tell them that you'll be there if you can (you never know, you might have the baby 2 weeks early!), but you're not sure. Then send in the RSVP card as a yes and put (depending on baby!) in parenthesis beside it or something to remind them of your phone call.  

Answer 4

If I were in your situation I'd call and tell them my situation.  I'm sure they'll understand.

I would RSVP as a "no" because most likely you won't be there.  Plus, RSVPing with a "no" takes the pressure off when the date comes.  If you are just not feeling up to it, don't like the idea of leaving your 5-day-old child in somebody else's hands, there is no "I already said yes" pressure.  And if you DO decide to go, like 5 days of screaming makes you feel ready for a five hour break, there WILL be enough food for two people.

Still, call and let them know.  RSVP however you (or they, if you ask them) want but add a little note with your explanation.  Then call when the date is closer, so you are more sure of your answer.

Answer 5

I would call them and let them know your situation...ask them if they'd prefer you RSVP yes or no.  

Answer 6

I would rsvp that I cannot make it.  I was in the same predicament last year.  My baby was due Aug 27th, and my friend got married Aug 29th.  I figured I was going to be overdue and would make it, so I rsvp'd yes. I ended up having my daughter on my due date.  And even if she had been a few days late, that last week is KILLER.  I probably would've ended up not going.  I was so uncomfortable in my own skin, let alone to have to get into a dress and nice shoes and haul myself over to a wedding.  You can barely even eat without gasping for air.  It was just too much.  

Answer 7

Give the bride (or the mother of the bride) a call and let her know the situation. Tell her that you'll definitely be there if possible, but that you really won't be sure until the last minute. She can decide how best to put you down on the list, and if you aren't there she'll know why.

Answer 8

In this case you might be better off calling the person who is getting married and telling them the situation.  You should send your RSVP as a yes and include a little note just to remind them.

Answer 9

I think overall you should RSVP no.  I mean, if your due date is five days before the wedding, there are a lot of what ifs involved.  You could be late - do you want to sit through your friend's wedding wondering if you're going to go into labor at any moment?  Also, even if you deliver on time, do you want to leave your newborn five days after birth?  I wouldn't.

I'd just tell your friend that you'd love to go but obviously with the closeness of your delivery date, you don't think it'd be wise to attend.  She should understand.  

Answer 10

if you are invited to their wedding, i am sure they would know you are expecting. rsvp that you will be there (so they have food and seating for you if you can make it) and if you cant make it, im sure they will understand (and someone there will probably tell them why you arent there)

Answer 11

RSVP that you'll be there, and just mention your due date and that it's possible you may not be able to make it.  Call them as soon as possible after the baby (or have a family member call) so they know not to expect you.

Answer 12

this bride sure is cutting it close if the response date hasn't passed and the wedding is 4 weeks away!  you need to write a note when you RSVP or call her and tell her you want to come but you don't know if you'll have the baby by then.  if she says she'll put you down as a yes, that means she's paying for a meal for you even if you don't show up, so if it turns out you have the baby and can't go to the wedding, you better send her a fat gift to make up for the wasted food.