How to Tell if She's the Right One?

Question

I wanted to ask the married and/or divorced people because I think that their degree of experience in life can teach us all a long way, not to mention their level of maturity over the people in the Dating and Singles forum.

Anyways, I think that I have enough self-respect and knowledge about myself, my wants, and needs, to enter a long term relationship with the goal of having someone who is "marry-able".

I wanted to ask you guys how you know if the one you are dating/in a relationship with is "The One" and that you're sure you're not with them because they just came along.

I made a list of what I wanted both physically, spiritually, and other virtues such as education/family/wealth goals.

Please share with me some advice to help myself be determined that I know the right one, so that hopefully I enter a successful relationship even though every couple must work hard together to keep the "it" going well throughout life.

Answer 1

Marriage is like a business. Contrary to what you see on television, marriage is a lifelong business. You have to ask yourself, "Can you spend the rest of your life with this person?" Hypothetically, what if you or her got into a car accident? Would you be able to take care of her. Would you want to? What if you had miscarriage, would you be their for her. What if she wanted to move away? Would you be able to put her first instead of your mother and not fold in to your family.

Marriage is about the good and the bad. The bad makes you appreciate the good and through all of her pet peeves, annoyances, mood swings, and tribulations that will occur (cause they will) you still love her and will do anything for her. And you'll get on her nerves too.

People will try to ruin your marriage and in-laws will make you pull your hair out. But she is worth it all. That's how you know. You know there is no one else on this planet that is better suited for you than her. Good luck. Smart of you to ask the sane ppl. :)

Answer 2

My grandparents had the greatest marriage I ever saw. They were very much in love all through life. I asked my grandpa what the secret was. He told me, "Don't marry a woman that you can life with. Marry a woman that you can't live without. When you find that woman, you will know she is the right one." Then it is like Babydoll said, "You just know." My wife and I knew by the end of our first date (which was 28 hrs long). She proposed to me 5 weeks later and we married 2 days after that. That was 42 wonderful (mostly) yrs ago. Like my grandpa said, I knew I just couldn't live without her.  

Answer 3

Keep your list but be flexible on some things. When you meet someone start on the friends level because the best long-term relationships are based on friendship.  Don't rush and take your time getting to know the person. Having a lot of common interests is really good because although opposites attract you don't want to always be at odds with the other person. Know yourself well and know what you want. Don't settle because you are desperate. The right person will find you. Good luck!

Answer 4

Well, this may sound corny, but sometimes, you just "know". You know, like the whole "love at first sight" thing? It just clicks into place. Like, when you really are with "The One", you can't physically see flaws. Sure, they are there, but not to you. And fights are minimal. More like disagreements that you comprimise over effortlessly. Honestly, and don't make fun of me here, but the place that I've found that best describes how you feel about "The One" is in the book "New Moon" when it talks about imprinting. That's how it feels. And if "She's" not in your life right now, but you are "looking", stop. The One comes along when you aren't looking for it. You have to be completely happy with yourself first, and then your special match will come along. Hope that helps you.  

Answer 5

there is no right or wrong one

u should just work it out

Answer 6

You're going to have to look at yourself 10 years from now,

Where do you think you are going to be, What adventures would you like to have? Can you do all this stuff without someone?

If that girl in your life can share your life and you allow her to live hers as well. Then I believe that list should go out the door.

Answer 7

In order to know that, you have to really truly know your partner. But the actual thing that makes them "the one" is different for everybody. Ask yourself what YOUR goals are for life, where do you want to be in five years, ten years, how do you see yourself when you're "old"? If the feelings are right, and if that person shares your goals, then perhaps that is "the one". And even if they don't share your goals, are you willing to compromise? So many things go into making that decision. And really i don't think its something that anyone can TELL you, its something that you FEEL.  And also, if there is someone who you think might be the one but you're not sure, i would say they probably are not the one. Good luck.