How to adapt as a new step-mommy... ?

Question

i will become a step mom to a 3 yr old in a few months.. we are currently in the process of getting custody of him.. now i try my hardest to be the best to him... not to replace his mother but still let him know i am a good female figure in his life... is there anything i could do to calm him to the change of being around us more than his real mother... we've been together since he turned 1.. i would like him to adapt to this and to learn to love me.. any tips ?

Answer 1

just be nice be yourself dont never try to take place of the real mommy if the real mommy is in the baby life just take it slow

Answer 2

Just take care of him like you would if he came out of you. You will be fine and he will love you just like you want him to. Good luck and don't worry it's not difficult unless you make it that way.

Answer 3

dont try to be his mom to much

let him and his dad bond

and instead of disipling him tell your husband how if you want something to change

Answer 4

I had a step mother and was a step mother in my first marriage to a 3 year old ( she is 14 now).  The most important thing you need to know is DO NOT get involved in arguing with the mother.  Get along with her go to lunch, whatever.  Try as hard as you can to be friends.  That is what is going to win the child's heart.  He will know that he wont be able to manipulate you later in life.  Its easy to love a 3 year but much harder to love his or her mother.  He needs structure and boundaries and if you are trying to make the child love you than you will fall short.  Trust me,  the key is the mother.  

Answer 5

Hi Dani,

Only one thing:  LOVE.  Be there for him, play with him, talk to him, listen to him, be attentive, smile a lot, pamper him, make him know that you love him.  

Be a good educator, firm but patient. Congratulate him for his work, for his behavior.

After reading your paragraph, I do not think you have to work too much on this.  You sound like a very loving person.

Agua