How to approach my bridesmaid?

Question

I'm getting married in just under 7 weeks. One of my bridesmaids has been going through a rough time financially and has split with her long time partner. She also has a newborn baby and is adjusting to her new role as a mother. I know it would really help her out if I pay for her dress and shoes. My question is, how do I offer to pay for them without belittling her? I'd never say anything to anyone. I just feel like my wedding is putting extra stress on her that she doesn't need. Help?

Answer 1

Congrats!!!

Sit Your Friend Down and Speak To Her About Her. I Know Wedding Preparation Is Time Consuming, But Sit Her Down So She Can Talk. All This Buzz Going On Is Probably Making Her Feel Left Out and That Her Feelings Are Of Little Concern. And As Far As Helping Her out Financially Do It, But Dint Give It A second Thought. If She Says Why Or Anything Tell Her Simply Let It Go, What Did I Do? But With A Wink. She Will Understand..............

Good Luck!!!!

Answer 2

tell her it means the world to you that she is one of your bms and youll do anything to have her there!

Answer 3

Just explain to her how you feel.

Do it somewhere private and just talk to her friend to friend.

You may be supprised it will life a weight off her shoulders.

Just be lighthearted when you talk about it.

You can even say she can pay if back later on if she reallly needs to but say its a favour for now.

Im sure everything will work out.

Have a great wedding!!!

Answer 4

The #1 rule is that any help you give this lady must be totally secret. It could be mortifying to her if other bridesmaids realized that she was getting this help.

My suggestion is that you just quietly give her an envelope and tell her "I'd appreciate if you'd take this and never mention it to anyone" and be sure that you don't mention it again either. And don't expect thanks or gratitude or anything else in return. Just give and then forget. "Let your right hand not know what your left hand is giving" or something like that is the was Jesus put it.

Answer 5

I woudn't say anything to her. If you sit down and tell her you want to pay for it for her it might make her feel really bad. If she has a lot going on just pay for her stuff without her knowing and if she confronts you just say thats what friends are for! If you go into a big long speach it will prolly make her uncomfortable! Good luck and congrats!!!!

Answer 6

I'd sit her down and say to her that she's done so much for you and that to say thanks it would be your pleasure if she'd let you pay for her shoes and dress. That might make it so she doesn't feel belittled. If she declines, I'd just insist and tell her that you want to.

Hope everything goes well, and congratulations on the wedding!

Answer 7

Ask her..

Answer 8

Awww, that's really sweet and I am sure she will appreciate it. Maybe instead of just giving her money buy the shoes and tell her you want to help out because you know she would do the same you. Tell her you would also like to pay for the dress and maybe have her sized and put on hold and then go pay it when she is gone because she will feel worse watching you fork out the money!! :)

Answer 9

i am from the uk, and here we dont let bridesmaids etc pay for their dresses etc, i am not critisizing, i am just saying here we do things differently

i know the expense that comes with this, and i cannot help but think, with , all that your bridesmaid is going through, that perhaps she may be worrying about this too, i really dont think you have any cause to worry about approaching her, i think its a lovely thing that you are doing. Kudos to you

go to her house, or take her to lunch, and just tell her, you are so pleased that she is being your bridesmaid, and you want to buy her, her dress & shoes, i wouldnt make a big deal out of not telling anyone at that point, as that may make her feel you are taking pity on her. I f you can, offer to go shopping with her

i think the big way to play this is to make her feel included, she will work out you are not doing this with other bridesmaids etc and get the bigger picture for herself

wishing you a wonderful wedding day, you deserve it

its heartwarming to hear someone so kind

Answer 10

Write her a note telling her that you care for her, and that you would like to be the friend and confidant that she needs right now.

You can also put a check in that note to cover the wedding expenses (dress, shoes, getting her hair or nails done the day of the wedding) with the explanation "weddings can be a financial burden, and since it is my wedding, I want to help you with some of that burden."

Hip Hip Hooray for Brides who care about their attendants!  I applaud your kindness and thoughtfulness!

Answered by:  A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant