How to approach your child and talk about the meaning of life (s*x)?

Question

It's that time of season in life that, I need to sit down with my 8 year old and talk to him about 's*x'. I learn't through life experience and was never sat down with my parents and talked about the issue. But I would like ome advice on how to aproach him on this issue. Could you please provide helful suggestions and if you like to phrase it, by all means do.

Thankyou

Cheers : )

Answer 1

I wait until they get to the 7th grade, then I ask them for pointers.

Answer 2

I would suggest snippets.  The best place to discuss anything with a child from experience, is a car.  They are captive.  The most important thing to teach first is respect.  Respect for you own body and respect for others.  Other than that, enjoy the experience!  I am still recuperating (20 plus years)!

Answer 3

They make lots of children's books on the topic.  Pick one that you like and tell your son that you want to read it together.  Afterward you can discuss any questions he might have, or things that he didn't understand.

Answer 4

I can only tell you what we are doing (my son is eleven). Around about your boy's age we got one of the Dorling Kindersley books about the body and we also already possessed a couple of anatomy books (I'll look them up for you when I'm at home). One of hese is a pop-up that is suitably gory to appeal to young boys of any age!

At eight, rather than sitting him down and "having the s*x talk" we made a point of just answering ANY question in a straightforward way as if he was asking what the time was and then confirming he knew what the answer meant. This would be followed up with the assurance that he was welcome to ask any question, no matter how silly it seemed, and we would be happy to answer. We never shied away from using words like p***s or balls but for some reason v****a just became 'the baby hole' !

He had a film at school yesterday about the changes the male and female bodies go through during puberty and immediately came home to talk about it even if he did say it was horrible that people got so hairy in all those places.

Again, we reiterated the message that no question is out of bounds and that he will always get an honest answer.

I have no idea exactly how other people do things but our son seems to be doing ok and even asks me what certain swear words mean when he hears them in the playground. Don't worry about feeling awkward at first, it will soon pass if you stick with it and wouldn't you have liked to have someone knowledgeable you could ask when you were 8 and who wouldn't laugh?

Good luck.

Answer 5

Indeed, it is time. But you should go little by little. Don't "give out" all the info now. Some things he'll have to learn by himself. What I mean is, for now, talk to him about his own body, not the action of having s*x. For example ; What happens when your p***s becomes hard, erection. Through the years, teach him more and more. Because if you just come up with that subject and give him all this info, He'll tend to be uncomfortable talking about it whenever he has a problem. Be slow. :) That's what my mom did with me.

Answer 6

my parents brought me a book all about s*x, bodys and babys and was always very open about what ever i asked it made me feel comfertable and i could read my self and ask questions when i needed to.

My parents never approached me very often at all as i did all the asking and just read about it myself!!

I think its difficult for any parent especially when you talk about it for the very first time. my children are 3 & 4 and i am going to wait untilll they reach the age of 8 too before we start to talk about this; i think this is a good age to talk about it to.

Good luck

Answer 7

Wow - certainly easier to bring up with girls - what with them being interested in growing up and them getting periods and it all connecting?!?!

Ummmm.... are you or anyone you know expecting a baby?  This is always a good introduction - because the child tends to ask the why's and how's!!

Otherwise just sit him down and ask if he knows how babies are made? Or whether he has heard anything about s*x??

Some children at this age may have been misinformed already by their peers - but at least if the word isn't totally alien then its easier just to correct the details than start from the off.

A book called Growing Up, by Usborne books - could be useful - it explains puberty, physical changes, emotions etc.

Good luck with that - it will be easier than you think to discuss, but Im sure I will hear your sigh of relief when the chat is over!!

btw. information overload can be real scary for kids - so maybe find a way to introduce bit at a time, and follow his lead with how much detail you put in - some children need the extra time to mull the information over in their head.

Answer 8

I think you just need to bit the bullet and start the conversation.

With a lot of kids, if they are comfortable they will ask heaps of questions.

It's constant and you need to be truthful in your responses. I know as a parent now, I still continually ask questions about mainly contraception's.

There are many books and material available to help people now, you can pretty much go to your local bookshop to see them all., but I think a good old fashion talk about it works just as well.

I don't think it's a one conversation though, it will be continue for a long time now. I'd start by talking about the changes he will go threw in puberty, then about contraception's, respect, and so on.

Answer 9

Well you could try what my parents did to me.....

I came home from school and there was a book called "Where did I come From?" sitting on my bed

That night at dinner Dad said... "Did you read that book "

"Yes."

"Well lad, any questions?"

"No."

"Good."

and it was never discussed again.

Probably not the best method!!!!!

Answer 10

first of all we have to move with childrens as a friend, then most of the things can be discussed and solved,

check out this..

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 11

You definitely do not need to speak to your child about s*x at the age of 8.  That is way to young.  Like another answerer said, wait until your child is in the 7th grade.  They usually teach s*x ed in school at that time.

Answer 12

I took my daughter to McDonalds and grabbed a burger and took her to the park and left everyone else at home and we sat down daughter to mother and talk it through. I told her everything from kissing even the known french kissing, to the fool around type to the actually thing and at the end I asked her if she had any questioned and then I let her talk about all of her concern's. I even told her about the danger's of s*x including all it take's is one time to get preganant, I also told her that protection doesn't always work either. I would just be straight out honest with your child and tell him no story's or fake's. Kid's around 7 and up know more than what we parent's think they do now days, they hear it at school and other place's. After I told mine every thing -she looked at me and said mama you don't have to worry about me-that is gross, I won't ever do that. I had order some free brochures off the internet to show her about the girl's part's and the boy's part and what they all where including a small child s*x education dvd. Look up through google boys and girls s*x education and there is alot of answer you will find very helpful.

Answer 13

At 8yrs,young, You Need only the Basics,

Too much Detail is Not necessary.

Tell him the Man has a seed that he can plant in the woman which eventually grows into a Baby.

Then if he wishes he can ask you further questions which should be answered as Honestly and simply as you can.

Answer 14

They learn all about that stuff in school when they have Family Life. Tells them all about that. To start the convorsation, watch a movie that involves s*x and then I'm sure you son will ask some questions on what was going on.

Answer 15

I have an 8 year old too and my greatest suggestion is to be frank and open and not treat the subject of s*x as anything to be ashamed of.  You might just begin by saying..."Do you know how babies are made?"  If 'yes'...what do you know and do you have any questions?  If 'no'...would you like to know?  Neonman's suggestion of trapping them in a car when you ask is a great idea, because most kids just want to run and hide when the subject is brought up, but if you can see that they are really uncomfortable then try another approach.  Another good suggestion is to find an excellent piece of literature on the subject and give it to your son.  After he's read it ask him if he has any questions or simply go over the book with him after he's finished.   You can find all kinds of literature at the library and some of the best are books on pregnancy and birth.   A pen and paper could be very useful for the harder to explain body parts and where they go.  Another important thing to consider is that once you've had the 's*x' talk, you'll need to bring the subject up every so often until it becomes a comfortable subject for all concerned.   I started when my eldest was 4 because I was pregnant at the time and he was curious.  Now,  he comes to me freely when he has a question.  I have to re-explain things often because he was very young and he forgets or he needs clarification, but I don't mind because it keeps communication open which is the most important part of "the talk".   Best of luck to you :)