How to avoid feeling dead.?Its been too long. I dont want to get addict..?

Question

I'm hindu and i visit church daily but the moment I'm back, the feeling is back.(it doesnt help). A troubled family since i remember. Mom went on becoming drug addicted. It was 1 and half decade back. dont know who did what. i cant get over those images when they both fought extremely voilently n those when she attempted to suicide. I just waited 4 a day when it'll end and in course of time dreamt having a love who'll...... and then came love, stayed 3yrs and ended too hurtfully. mom is now suffering mental prob bcz of the toxics reaching her brains. tryed to cure but in vein.. just one last time i fell in love again and lost again. i dream about him so often n when i'm up i feel dead. and i have so many burdenful memories. i dont need psychologists. i've seen them, what they do n did in mom's case. i cant be a singer any more, cz i dont have wishes nymore. surprisingly i look the most happiest girl in college,they say. i have close friends but they forget i need help, in course of time, just bcz i look happy n strong. i hate when i smile 24/7. i dont need awwwwwwss... i'm ok. my very last try to reach for help. all i need is a way out if there is. i feel i'm no more

Answer 1

You sound like your going through depression.  Im sorry.  You know you dont have to be so strong for anyone but yourself right?  I dont think your friends forgot about you, I just think that you smile around them and they buy into the fact that you look fine.  Thats just it though.  You LOOK fine, you FEEL horrible.  And keeping those feelings to yourself arent healthy.  Im not saying you have to go to a pyschologist.  But maybe one of the reasons they didnt help is because you didnt talk to them?  But it wouldnt hurt to tell one of your closest friends.  They obviously love you, dont think for one second they dont care about you, because they do.  But sweetie, take it from me, when you said you were a singer but you cant be anymore, it completely broke my heart.  I spent my entire childhood fighting with my mom, and always losing.  Singing was the one thing that kept me going.  I was so passionate about it, dont lose that passion girl.  So let me tell you there is a way out, you just got to open up and TRUST someone close to you, like a best friend.  I did that when I was going through my depression and she was there for me anytime I needed her.  Dont give up.  Life gets better!!!

Answer 2

hang in there, time heals all wounds.

you can still be a singer, you can just write how you feel.

listen to some heavy metal, i'm sure you will relate to some of it.

then pour out your own feelings into angry music and let it out.

most importantly you need to believe that things can get better.

Answer 3

Im sorry that you are feeling detached from everything due to stress, and since you wont go to a doctor or get a referral then I suggest that you look for natural remedies.

Answer 4

You sound like your spirit is trapped in a cloud.

Answer 5

You DO need help. . . just finding the right help is the issue.  if you have tried counseling and didn't get anything from it, I understand.  Some people have to try dozens of counselors before they find a good one.  I might suggest a support group for grief and loss. . . .and keep an open mind about medical help.  

Losing loved ones, lovers, and friends and relatives can be very stressful.  Having nothing that brings you joy is an indication of a fairly deep depression.  If there is a chance you could get yourself to a new environment and change your surroundings, might that be helpful?  Taking a retreat or sabbatical can help clear the mind.  I am not familiar with Hindu, but I do know that spirituality can often either open the door for better health or create stress by making you feel like you have failed.  Find a way it can be positive for you, perhaps by finding a mentor.  

Wish I could tell you more. . . .

Answer 6

i realize that you dont want to see a doctor. mental illness is hereditary. you dont have to become addicted to any medication. just try talking to a counselor or therapist. you need help-to feel really alive again. there are new kinds of meds now for depression to take--that are safe. depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. there is too much or too little seretonion in the brain. medication will even this out. you are not your mother! good luck-god bless

Answer 7

The fact that your mother had a drug addiction and has depression tells me there is a history of both in your family. Many times people with depression problems try to self medicate with alcohol or illegal drugs to make them feel. This is a tragedy. Once this has started, both must be combated at the same time. Avoid the drugs that are not prescribed AND face the depression.

  Since she has this problem a combination approach might be helpful for you. If you are doing any substances that are not prescribed by a doctor, you should stop them. Then you will need to see a therapist/counselor and a doctor who prescribes medication to help with depression. If one therapist or doctor did not work for you, that doesn't mean a different one would not be able to. If one medication did not work for you, it does not mean that another will not be helpful. Each human body is chemically a little different and sometimes one needs to try more than one to find the right match. Also if you find that you are feeling worse on the medication, talk to your doctor right away because sometimes a medication will do the opposite of what you want it to do. The doctor can then change the medication to find one that is better for you. Counseling/therapy should be used in combination with the medications because there are often situational issues that need to be faced and it gives you someone to talk to regular that doesn't go by what your face says... but by what you tell them.

I have anxiety and depression problems since age 10 years old. I started treating them at age 17 years old. I am now 40 and it is much easier than it has been in the past. I have chemical imbalances so mine sometimes still gets bad but I know how to cope with it now. Many people don't know that I have these problems and tell me that I look like a very happy person as well. Those close to me know different and they know when I tell them I am having a bad day to help comfort me in any way they can... even if I look happy, they KNOW I am not because I have told them. The important thing is to not give up and to keep looking if you don't find what you are looking for at first. I know it can be hard but there really are a lot of people out there who understand the pain of depression and it does not always show on our faces.

Answer 8

Relationships suck, they always build you up then when you least expect it your hurting like never before. A few people can't deal with the dead feeling and have to resort to drugs or alcohol. I would not recommend that at all. I also wouldnt recommend counseling, but what i would recommend is possibly seeing about an anti depressant. It could be a natural one like st. johns wort or the many good ones to choose from (which i would recommend going natural), or there are ssris which you can get perscribed. Thats the only way I made it out and defeated the feeling, I felt like i was going to have to live with that dead, empty, cold feeling of lost love everyday. It sounds like your describing a sort of conditional depression, you need something to lift your spirits and get you back into enjoying things. Look into "natural antidepressants" (st. johns wort or 5-htp). Good luck, remember we all have to go through broken hearts, it just affects some people differently. Im more like you and understand what your going through, its never easy. Talk to your friends when you feel you need to. Good luck, hope these feelings subside.  

Answer 9

I understand your hindu, but how about visiting other churches for a week? many christian churches will find someone for you to talk to, I know you dont want a psych or a counselor, but just give this a try, and keep in mind now a days psychologists are different, and get your body out of the same dreary place you have been in. Go to the beach or the mountains, go for walks, volunteer, you have to get your mind off the same things that you dwelling on. Everyday do things that you havent done before.  

Answer 10

I sorry you feel dead because of your situation.  Maybe try writing in a journal just to release some of your emotions.  When I feel dead nothing really helps me much, and I also have a smile pasted on my face 24/7.  For me the only thing that helps me get better is focusing on making each day better and just willing myself out of feeling dead.  Good luck with your situation, and I hope you feel better soon.