How to be a righteous woman for my bf? I really love my boyfriend and I want to show him how much I love him.

Question

My daily love duties for my man: I make him sandwiches for his lunch almost everyday. I cook dinner almost every other night for us. I do his laundry. I keep the place clean. I got him concert tickets to his favorite artist this Aug. We make love at least 4 times maybe 5 times a week. We have been together 2 months official but started out rocky for about a year. When I was with my cheating ex who hit, lied and verbally abused me I cheated back on him with my new bf now. Although I am with him he is insecure and think what I did to my ex I would do to him. He thinks I should have been a lady and not cheat on him. I hate how he doubts me. I've changed my phone number, I am going to quit bartending and Aug will be my last month. I have already deleted my myspace. His friends hate me cuz they think I will cheat on him, regardless of what my ex had put me through. I do not talk to my friends anymore, I have isolated my self from everyone. I just go to church w mine or his family and I hang out with him or my family. Yet he goes out with his friends and gets drunk. I want to prove to him I can be the better person for him. I can be a RIGHTEOUS woman. What else can I do?? Any suggestions? Oh, I want to add that we spend almost every day and night together. How can we make the relationship not boring. I am kind of tired of going to Happy Hour. he does not like going to the movies. We just rent DVD's and have a home cooked meal. We go to the beach sometimes, since we are only 1 mile away. We have no kids. I do accounts recievable and payables in the day time, he works for the city of Buena Park Calif. Should I go back to school? To show him I want to be better for our relationship? We want to get married through the court.Have the ceremony later. I really love him and I want to do better for him. Any ideas? or suggestions?

Answer 1

Whoa!  You sound like a nice person, you don't have to do anything special to make another person like you EXCEPT, take care of yourself.  Do what makes you feel good as a person.  When you are happy with yourself, others will be too.  Don't do things because it pleases others, do what pleases you.  You'll never regret taking care of yourself, but be disappointed when it's not appreciated when you tried your hardest to please someone else.

Answer 2

It sounds nice what effort you put into the relationship, but it seems that your boyfriends and his friends and family are not worth it.  I know this sounds pretty rough, but if they treat you the way they do although you behave in such a nice way, you should take into consideration moving far away and starting all over.  This would mean spending some time without friends or boyfriend, but those who do end up being your friends or boyfriend will not be prejudiced or influenced in any other bad way with regards to the past.

Answer 3

You need to not be sleeping with him... that's first. If you really want to be righteous, then don't sleep with him. When you stop sleeping with him, you'll find out what kind of man he really is. If he makes you feel bad about it, then you don't need him. If he respects your choice, then he's worth holding on to.

You can't make him trust you. You just need to tell him that you are not going to cheat on him and leave the rest to him. If he loves you, he'll trust you.

And if you keep having problems, don't worry, there are plenty of good guys out there that you can be in loving and trusting relationships with.

Answer 4

Personally my dear, You are doing an excellent job and you should be proud of yourself. I, myself can relate to you as i am like that in a relationship which i must add is merely complicated...but I do try my best through actions and words to express how much i valuable, love and respect the person I unconditional have feelings for. I can too see that you do have unconditional feelings and love for your man.

But let me be frank with you...as I too had to be frank with myself. You see people like us, we have a more than a generous and giving heart..and to those we are love and intensely feel for we want to show and prove so much to them. Slightly forgetting about us...YES, us.

It is right as one stated..before you can go out for someone else, you have to put yourself first and benefit you. As nobody can truly love and respect you whole-heartedly if you don't care, pay attention and treat yourself as first priority.

Today someone posted up on another website:

"Do not put one as your first priority, if they put and consider you as an option"

This statement was very strong and true, as in what our situations and for those in similar situations are we put those we love first, they become our number 1, our priority, our everything. Whilst we forget about what is number 1, which is ourselves...those we are with as your boyfriend is demonstrating as you outline he hangs out with his friends and gets drunk, shows their is no sign of awareness or understanding...and who is concentrating? He is concentrating on himself, which is his no.1. Making you his option.

It is painful, as i am too going through the same thing and i am going to be frank, with my heart of this nature i find it so hard concentrating on me as i feel bad others may feel i am disregarding their needs. But have you ever asked yourself, is he understanding, aware and regarding my needs? To be frank your answer may be No or in between. But the main thing it should be is yes, yes he is respecting and encouraging me.

Again my dear, what you are going to have to do is not disregard your boyfriend but do what makes you happy not him. I know it sounds quite selfish, but it is not selfish if you are considering you and him together, but making yourself no. 1. So if you want to go back to school, do it for you not for him. Right now all though you are doing things for him like this, he is considering it as wonderful, but he is aware that you do not regard yourself and possibly may too much care towards yourself which will be portrayed as weakness in his eyes. Giving him a wider chance to escape and interact with those who poses a care more in themselves and what they can possible give, they can give to others.

You need to become strong, and ease on how much you do for him and do more for you. As he cannot better you fully, only you can do that and vice versa. So instead ideas and suggestions to prove and show him..instead please take this response as a way as putting you first because trust me he will love you more when he see's you loving yourself. You are the key to making him love you and you can open the gates to him loving you when you start to concentrating on you and trying to place the words "I" than "you". When he starts hearing more of the I's in you achieving and saying your achieving for yourself, he will want you more and love you more than he feels now. Do not stop showing the tender, love and care you feel for him..but more than before just start to look inside and do things for you. Then he will start finding ways to come and do the same things for you.

Answer 5

Although I dont agree with you cheating on your ex I feel you shoulda just dumped the immature jerk and then dated your current bf I can see where anger towards an abusive ex could cause such a reaction. I say you do plenty for him so dont feel there is much you need to do around the house physicaly I dont know both your personalities so I cant say try to act more this way if possible and such.  I have to say if he wants to marry you then he should just drop your mistake from the past and stop harrassing you about it if he cant stop harrassing you then you should just dump him cause he isnt worth your time.  

Answer 6

Personal Guilt will never solve your demons.

Once a Cheater...Always a Cheater.

No Excuses>>>>

Tell him everything bout you and let him make the decision about you.

That's if you got the guts!