How to be confidence and strong but not being dislike?

Question

i sometimes can be confidence and assertive but i am not sure why when i do this, people always end up dislike me. it doesn"t really matter if small group people dislike this but it becomes a problem when majority did.is this just a problem of my culture? or do i surprise people when i change from timid to assertive? do i lack of friendly facial expression when being assertive such as smile as a follow up? what do you think?

Answer 1

If you are truly confident and strong, then there is no reason to behave in a dislikable way.  Real confidence and strength mean you don't have to have the last word, and you don't have insist on how right you are and how wrong everybody else is.  The only reason to insist on your own correctness in most cases is to defend your ego when it perceives a threat to it's size, and if you identify with your ego you've got a problem.

There's a big difference in being assertive and being aggressive in a dislikeable way.

"True strength means possessing a confidence and courage that cannot be bought for money, nor seized by any authority, and establishing a self which will always respond in time of need. Moreover, it means taking action with concern not merely fot yourself, but for the happiness of people around you." -- http://www.shorinjikempo.or.jp/en/about/...

Answer 2

You can be the nicest person in the world, and there are people out there who will still dislike you.

Just the way it works.