How to be mommy and daddy. .?

Question

k well i am now five months prego. . my babys father left me the day i found out.(he left me at the hospital). and he never really came back. i talked to him on the phone quite a few times and he revealed to me that he was smoking crack. hes actually a good bit older than me. .and he has a baby boy that he doesnt see now. i didnt find out about this other kid until he left. his mom told me. but theres just one problem. hes the only person ive ever been really. . REALLY comfortable around. and could do or say anything to him and still feel beautiful. i miss that. but i know as long as hes on drugs we cant be together. i just really love him. not only cause im IN LOVE but because hes the father of my child. now im having to cope with being mommy and daddy to my child.

how do i shake the feelings for him so i dont cry every night and how do i be a mommy and a daddy? i mean im only 18 i dont even know how to a mommy yet.

Answer 1

Your going to have to weigh one outcome with another.  Most woman might think "he can change", but men are animals of instinct and repetition.  Good company at times, but you'd have to understand that love and the terminology which implies love are not a constant set of words.  It changes, and people change - and then they change again.  One day love's hate, one day hates love - then one day your back where you started.  Your best bet would be to understand that he had the nerve to leave when he figured out you where pregnant, and no matter what..... the "daddy" you speak of may never fill a role.  But the "mommy".. forced to concede her bad habits because of the love of her baby.  Has a chance to become something more useful in life.  So never look at the baby as a disadvantage, it was a gift and burden to take you somewhere new and different.  But if you still wish to wonder of how things can be and what they'd be like in that perfect world... then you should keep dreaming.   I'm not saying to give up on life, I'm not saying to give up on him.  I'm just saying that you should rely on your own ability to overcome - and pass that on to your child.  So when they grow up they don't have to make troublesome decisions...

Sincerely,

Your Perfectly Un-perfect Man.

P.S .. Thank you for your comment earlier, made me laugh.  If you need someone to talk to, try my email on my profile. - Oh, and single mothers do fine, its the single daddy's that have the problem, lol... As for love feelings, I've always found them unshakable.

Answer 2

You're in love with a crackhead. He's never going to be in your and your child's life. Try to move on and be happy and focus on raising your child so that he/she can be proud of you.

Answer 3

stay away from him

you might think now that it wil be easy, but you probably will slip up.

My cousin was a drug addict before she had her baby. so was her husband. After the baby was born, she fell back into it BECAUSE of her husband. The baby was caught in the middle. Everythings ok now, but it wasn't just a little bit ago.

I know your not a drug addict, but if you fall back into a relationship with him, that chance is very real.

do your best to provide for that baby, it needs alot.

Answer 4

when you have that baby your whole life's gonna change. good and bad. but its sooo worth it. baby's are the most innocesnt and precious things in the world and they don't care if your pretty or ugly or don't have a husband or boyfriend. that baby will love you no matter what .there are plenty of fwomen with a baby witout a father. and who knows? may be youllfind someone to love you and your baby

lol sorry bout the spelling

GOODLUCK