How to be tact/finesse this situation?

Question

I'm throwing my best friend a surprise birthday next saturday. It's a small gathering. There were only suppose to be 5 of us. Brad, his girl friend, Rachel, Jules, and I. Now Brad has a new roommate. He has a good heart but he can be quite crass and quite a d**k(but not in a bad way).

I made the mistake of mentioning Brad's party in front of him and now he wants to come. I'm quite afraid that he wont get along with some of the other guests. If I told him that he would say he didn't give a ****. What am I suppose to do? Should I lie and tell him we cancelled the party? I really don't know what to do...

Answer 1

You mean "tactFUL". There is no way of throwing him off unless you tell him straight that he's not invited; whether you say it's nothing personal, or simply tell the truth -- that his personality will clash with the other people and you'd rather he didn't come. ...To his own roommates party. ...That Brad doesn't know about, so you're going to choose his friends for him. The roommate will probably think you're a snob. Brad will probably think so too. You are.

Let the guy come! If he makes a d**k of himself, he makes a d**k of himself, not you. Maybe he'll get along great with everyone and no-one will pay you any attention at all; or is this what you're really worried about?