How to best respond to people who say things like this?

Question

My ex husband and I have been divorced for 5 years. We had 2 kids together and our kids are grown. My ex and I get along ok, we very seldom see each other and when we do it's at a store or someplace like that. I don't ask my kids or anyone else anything about him. I met a man 2 years ago and he asked me to marry him. When I told family members I'm getting married, the first words out of some of their mouths was, "What about your ex?" I told them my ex has nothing to do with this and why are they even bringing him up? They say they don't want me to hurt him and I do not understand why they say those things. They all have ex's and when they met someone else and got married, I never said those things to them about their ex's. What's the best way to handle these people?

Answer 1

Tell them "I am sure he will live through it somehow."

Answer 2

Just say "Oh come one now, we've been divorced for years! Don't be silly". OR laugh it off, its such a stupid reaction.  

Answer 3

Ask them if it hurt their ex's when they got married.

Best to ask questions back rather than give an answer of your own.

Answer 4

stop being a drama queen do want you want and who cares about your ex its your life not your families

Answer 5

As long as you are happy, what else matters??

Answer 6

It is your life and your ex husband shouldn't even enter their minds now as it has been 5 years, so I can't understand why they are even considering him, unless you were the one who did something drastic to cause the break up. Anyway its really none of their business re the ex and they should accept what you decide and everyone move on.

Answer 7

Ignore them

it's none of anyone's business

if u r convienced with wut u r doing then go for it

good luck X

Answer 8

Tell them to mind their own!

Answer 9

Just tell them to get over it. How well do they know the new guy? Maybe that would help.

Answer 10

Play with their minds. Tell them the ex is gonna walk you down the aisle.  

Answer 11

Its your life not theirs but do you really want to get married again? My experience was similar to yours but I wont get married again, although I have had a new partner for 7 years I do not want him 24/7. When they say they don't want you to hurt him - you are divorced which was because I presume one of you didn't love the  other one any longer, he has to get on with his life

Answer 12

i think you need to make a family meeting & sit down with all of them & talk to them or DONT do anythink & just do what you want

IM sure they love you & they will be there for you

you have to look at your life too

i wish you all the best

Answer 13

Your kids are grown up..

Now its YOUR time to live your life, dont try and please other people..

And at the end of the day, if this new guy makes you happy, and you can see a future with him.. GO FOR IT !!

Answer 14

What?  They sound stupid.  Girl go on with your life.  I wish you the best...oh and how to handle them, simply say, "well _____ and i have been separated for 5 years".  If they continue, be like "we have been separated for 5 years...they will soon understand to shut the h**l up about it, cause apparently, you don't care.

Answer 15

When morons like that say to you:  "What about your ex.", simply say:  "Exactly.  He's an EX!"

Answer 16

tell them your ex is a big boy now and he can handle whatever life throws at him. also ask them what about you dont you deserve happiness in your life.

Answer 17

Ignore them , its none of there business anyways  

Answer 18

Have these conversations in front of their new spouses.

You can start off with "What about YOUR ex?"

If nothing else, it will be interesting.

Answer 19

The only people that would have any reason to say something like that is your kids, if it is coming from anybody else tell them to kiss off. Even if the kids are grown it is not their place to tell dad or to keep it from him.