How to break the bad news to your wife?

Question

I'm planning to end my marriage to my wife. I'm not sure how to tell her. Also, she was recently told that she couldn't have a baby and she is real self-conscious about this I don't want her to think that that is the reason. My plan right now is to tell her that my company is transferring me to Dallas so I can move in with my girlfriend. Also I want time to have all my legal matters taken care of in case something is required because of the kids, etc.

Answer 1

OMG NO!! YOU HAVE TO TELL HER BEFORE YOU MOVE!! DONT LIE! WHY ARE YOU DATING WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED???? SHOULD HAVE WAITED UNTIL YOU ENDED YOUR REALTIONSHIP...IT WILL PROBLEY MAKE MATTERS WORSE IF AND WHEN SHE FINDS OUT YOU ARE ALREADY WITH SOMEONE ELSE!

Answer 2

Tell her we all said she would be better without your sorry a**!!!

Answer 3

Tell her you want to move in with the gf grow some balls!

Answer 4

I think the best way for a lying, cheating bag of S**t to break this kind of news to his poor, unsuspecting wife is to throw himself under a bus.

Answer 5

You are horrible!  A marriage is supposed to be just the couple and you have a girlfriend?  What is wrong with you?  And for you to want to continue your plan after she has learned she cannot have children?  Lying only leads to more lying.  She will eventually see you and figure out what you did.

Answer 6

That is very sad. I hope your wife has been cheating on you with a guy that has a bigger **** then you. And I hope your girlfriend is using you. You suck dude!!

Answer 7

What a jerk! You haven;t even told your wife you want a divorce and you already have a girlfriend somewhere else. Your such a creep!

Answer 8

I think you should tell her the truth.  Plain and simple.  She deserves to know what a pr*ck you are and some day all that knowledge will help her feel good about losing you.  IF you don't tell her the truth, you'll hurt her over and over again. Her feelings are obviously not very important to you and you clearly have no conscience, but you can have a tiny bit of self respect if you're just honest and upfront with her.

And while you're at it, be honest about what a jerk you are with your new woman.  She deserves whatever she gets, of course.  

Answer 9

Since you're obviously inconsiderate in that your wife is going through a  hard time right now and are having an affair, you might as well just have all your stuff moved and send her an email about it or text her on her cell phone. Why change now.

Answer 10

Omg!

You are a loser lol

Tell you wife then divorce her and let her find a real man.

Answer 11

Tell her your letting her off the hook from someone who has been an unfaithful prick. Maybe she will thank you!

Answer 12

ugh.

come on!

the poor woman!

and on top of everything you cheat on her and lie to her?

wow.

you're every woman's dream aren't you?

good job s******g her over even more then life already has.

:[

~feriell

Answer 13

you say she can't have a baby, then you say that you want to get your legal matters taken care of re: the kids?  

You are the typical jackass that women hate. I'm sure we all hope that your gf is smart enough to dump your cheating *** and if she isn't then you two deserve each other and you will do the same to her.  Hope your wife is strong enough to laugh you out of her life!

Answer 14

My dad did the same exact thing. He's now reaping what has sown....

He's miserable and separated from his three children....Not to mention grandchildren.

Way to go dad!!!!!!

You need a reality check....Hope she takes you to the cleaners!!!!!

Answer 15

stop and think why you married her in the first place! she doesnt deserve you

Answer 16

I've been cheated on twice, both husbands, and I have children with them.  Guess what? there is no good way or right way to tell her.  Also, since you are clearly immature and irresponsible, and running away from responsibility, your relationship with your gf won't work out either.  It may last a while, but it will fail, unless she's a total pushover or you two are so incredibly busy you don't have time to realize its a shallow superficial waste of your time and energy.  The only way I see that your mistress is maybe NOT guilty in this, is if you have lied to her, such as 'we don't have s*x,' or saying mean things about your wife to indicate you are the one suffering.  If your girlfriend is needy, or if you are, or if you both are, it will get old for one or both of you soon enough.  My first husband regrets a lot of things, and he has said he will never marry again, he still loves me and compares all women to me.  I don't think that's the extreme in all cases of men cheating, but in more than 90% cases its the one who LEAVES who regrets it later, misses the one they dumped.   The problem is that the human psyche has ways of not allowing us to face our mistakes for years, as we continue to tell ourselves we are doing the "right" thing.  By the way, when you do have second thoughts about the girlfriend, and you should, there is also no "right" way to break it off with an extramarital affair. Tell your wife as little as possible if you are SURE you want divorce.  Details will only hurt.  Don't tell her when it started, or the nature of the relationship or your transfer.  Let her wonder, let her think you're a a-hole.  she will blame herself enough, you don't need to point out fault in her, in the kids, the homelife or financial issues. And, for god's sake please be SURE and don't start a rollercoaster of emotions you can't get over quickly.  You have a crutch, your girlfriend.  She will be hit with abandonment, while still having to care for kids, she will not accept it at first, she will offer compromises.  If you have family nearby, anybody you can confide in, consider telling them, or a close friend of hers or yours, who will be around after you move away...she will need lots of support.   Oh, and, don't forget about your kids.  You are responsible for them whether you live in the same home or not.  they don't just need your money.  you need to be around. Sounds like you haven't been.  

Answer 17

This is difficult to answer without having been a fly on your wall for the past X-number of years.  So...a few questions may be in order...maybe to ask yourself:

> Why is it OK to cheat on your wife, then leave her?

> What if she did this to you...first?...and left the kids with you?

> What does this girlfriend give you that your wife does not?

> If your wife stopped behaving in a certain way (or has starting behaving in a different way), what did you do to cause her change in behavior?  What makes you think you won't do that again?

> When was the last time you treated your wifen like your girlfriend?  Like your lover? Like when you treated her when you were first attracted to her?

> What makes you think that your girlfriend won't end up like your wife and end up losing you to another girlfriend?

> What makes you think your girlfriend won't see you as being able to cheat on her...since you did it with your wife?

> What kind of role model are you being to your children, i.e., what honorable example are you setting for them that they may emulate later on in their lives?

> What part in the marriage vows, the part that says you promise to "forsake all others" do you fail to comprehend?

> Are you prepared to try to tell the truth instead of cowering behind another lie?

You know...maybe she is better off without you.  I feel sorry for your girlfriend.

And, yes..."something" is required because of the kids:  child support.  You were "man enough" to sire these lives, then sit back while your wife went through 9 months of pain per child; are you man enough to properly guide YOUR children through their learning years?

I'm guessing that you already thought these through and have rationalized all the answers.

You better hope that there is no such thiing as reincarnation.  If there is...you'll be at it for a l-o-n-g time.

Answer 18

Hello!  You don't.  If you really need your girlfriend you can have two wives but divorce is wrong unless she commited adultery.  I mean I understand why a man would want a second wife if his first wife can't get pregnant.  I mean Abraham got a second wife because of it too and he was a good man.

Answer 19

Do her a favor and be honest.. That way she can leave your sorryass and find someone better then you... You're a f*cking loser if you already have a girlfriend before you ended your marriage. I hope you get what's coming to you tenfold!

Answer 20

why marry her ?? wanker  

Answer 21

You are a real d**n JERK. Tell your wife whats going on!

Answer 22

you're not making any sense. sure you don't have syphilis?

first you say your wife can't have children, then you mention "the kids"..who's kids?

it sounds like you're asking how not to offend her. ? and yet all the while you're betraying her, lying and making "plans" to move in with another woman.

so what was your question?

Answer 23

ur such a jerk for not even tellin her u have someone else and that ur even thinking about divorce........ u r really really going to destroy her

wat an @ss i wish i had u infront of me so that i could tell u how i feel  

Answer 24

omg u have a girlfriend....so u were cheating....wich might i add is illegal!!!!

just dont let her find out from someone else and definitly dont let her find out ur moving in with ur girlfriend...tell her in person face to face..dont yell or scream or raise ur voice in anyway and it willhelp he out a ton!!

Answer 25

I knew a person once who started dating her married doctor.  Finally she was able to break up his marriage and he left his wife and children.  Then they got married, a few years later the idiot woman was devastated that he was cheating on her with a younger woman.  I told her "What did you expect - you married a cheater!"  

Not only are you a cheater (which is a form of lying) but now you are going to add another lie by telling her you've been transferred???  Why don't you just be a man and tell her the truth?  You are cheating on her and want out of the marriage because you are not able to be faithful.  If you no longer love your wife - at least take care of your children properly - lying to your wife about being transferred to Dallas

would also hurt your children and they would see you as a liar - is that what you want?  

Answer 26

Karma is B*tch.  Good luck to you, you will get yours.