How to confront someone's actions towards you?

Question

i didnt think anyone would be interested in the details but if you are:

my new bf met my parents sunday and he made comments about my dad that i did not like. for instance he said to me 'wow he does shut up', 'no offense but i dont want to listen to your dad play the piano' (even though he only played for about 2 minutes) , something i cant remember and then 'but your mom seems nice'

also he had his ex girlfriend's earrings in his car and forced them upon me even though i said 'what would i want with them?' and when i said i would throw them away he told me not to and to give them to a friend or something

Answer 1

Step up or step away, if you don't do it will eat you up inside

Answer 2

Alright, since I'm not sure what your boyfriend said exactly, I can just assume it was pretty nasty considering it was about your father and it's still getting to you after two days. For situations like this, it is hard not to get into a confrontation because your boyfriend sounds kinda awful.  No offense, I'm sure he is a great guy just from the information I got, he sounds pretty crappy. You've taken a very mature approach on the situation though in the fact that you want to bring up what he did and explain to him why you did not like it. Those are the best steps to talking with people in a civil manner. However, you do need to be a bit more forward on the situation so you can be taken seriously.

One suggestion is to tell him you really did not appreciate the way he talked about your father and that you shouldn't even be the one having to go take his ex-girlfriends earrings. It's his ex-girlfriend. Not yours.

Another thing to add, making you get his ex's earrings is either a way to show you off in front of her to get her jealous or just be rather cruel to the girl in a means of mocking. Either way, he purposely sent you there and that is pretty dang bad especially since you've said yourself your terrible at confrontation.

Anyway, my best advice for confrontation is to try and make it as calm as possible. Bring up your point in a fight, make it as clear as possible by fully explaining yourself. Also, be confident when you bring up or are brought into an argument. Be sure of yourself and your own ideals. That’s the best advice I can give you. I hope it helped.

Answer 3

This is your BF. You should be able to respect each other and be honest with each other and you should with a BF really be at ease to talk about any topic and if there is something bothering either one of you.. about anything you should be able to discuss this openly with each other. tell him like you told us.. what happened and why this upset you then let him reply .. then hopefully by you telling him what bothers you and by him listening to you and you hearing his response you can get this problem sorted out between the two of you.. it's important if you are in a relationship to talk to the partner if there is something that bothers you.. He may not know.. so you need to tell him. xxxDon't plan it.. just choose a quiet moment when you two are alone and don't shout.. talk in a normal voice.. as in a conversation.

Answer 4

You are perfectly right to want to say something.  He may have said things without realizing they were rude.  Also, why is he giving you his ex's earrings?  That is completely out of line.