How to console a friend?

Question

Recap: friend married this girl, found out girl was having an affair, confronted girl, girl admitted, throws girl out of the house, girl begs to come back, he says nope started divorce proceedings, girl commits suicide. he did NOT go to her funeral, he didn't see what good would come out of it [they didn't have any kids]. Right now he is mad, mad that she cheated on him. this woman was married before and her husband used to cheat on her right left and center [he even cheated on her with her own sister!]. so my friend can't comprehend why she would do that to him. Right now the her death, i don't know if it well bothers him or not, he's just mad about her betraying him like that! especailly him knowing her past and her knowing his past [father used to cheat on his mother]. he's asking ME for answers and well i can't give him answers. I tell him to pray and he really does, but I just see hate right now for what she did. and Honestly my friend doesn't need to go to h**l for that Jezabel! apart from praying and geting counseling, i have NO clue what to tell him...suggestions?

Answer 1

If I had to guess, I would say that he his feeling guilty, Even though she is the one that cheated,  because of the divorce, she ended her life and that he would feel guilty for.  

The best thing as a friend you can do is get him to talk to someone,  if not a counselor then to preacher at a church.  But he needs more help then any of us on here can give you to give him.

Just be there for him, listen to him, and let him cry on your shoulder.  

Answer 2

He's very likely (or should be) mad about her suicide. That's often the ultimate meanness. Try different counseling. They're not all the same. A good many aren't even competent. Some are downright harmful.  

Answer 3

If he goes to church he really needs to talk to his pastor. he also needs to see a therapist and if his mother is still alive, he needs to confront his anger towards her  in that therapist setting as well which is the foundation for all of this and it is poisoning his life. He is holding on to that anger so much that it is taking over his entire life.  

All you can do is listen to him vent and guide him to talk to these people.  

Answer 4

you know he's probably mad on so many levels.  first she betrayed him, then the divorce, and then suicide.  with her killing herself, he was really never able to finalize anything with her.  so she in killing herself left him to deal with all the pain, betrayal, misery, everything.  until he is able to deal with that, he probably will never get or find the answers he is looking for.  tell him that you are sorry, and if he's going to counseling and they are not helping, even if he gets a punching bag something that he can work this out.  it will be a long time i'm sure before he really can look at any woman with any feelings.  good luck.