How to contact my Biological Mother?

Question

Recently I've been thinking a lot about my biological parents and so many other questions. I know her name and I have an Address and phone number of where i might be able to reach her. But where I came to a problem is how to break it to her? Do I call and say, "Hey, I believe I'm your son?" What i would really like to do is e-mail her, but that is out of the question since I don't have her e-mail address. So another option i thought was to write a letter and mail it to her, but what if her husband (whose not my biological father) opens it up and reads it and had no idea she had a child when she was younger. So, I wouldn't want to ruin anything she has going now, but its been 23 years, so I am very eager to meet her and find out who my father is. Anyways, I would like to hear what anybody has done in the past or how i should go about contacting her, I think I might just call her house and ask for her. Please let me know if you have an idea. Thank you SO much!!!

Answer 1

I would only listen to the advice of an Adoptee here.  A good place to find other adoptees would be adultadoptees.org

Wish you luck.

Answer 2

I knew my birth mothers name as well. Is what I did was google her name and it led me to a website similar to myspace. I set up an account and e-mailed her.

She was very receptive and open to answering all my questions. The only thing it didnt lead me to was my birth father since she didnt know much about him.

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 3

Do NOT show up at the door... what if she slams the door in your face? Write a letter or call

Answer 4

Wow.  Good question.  I would approach the agency that provided the adoption you now enjoy.  It is fairly important for you to have access to the genetic composition that combined and has resulted in you mortality.  That's the first place I would consult.  As well, consult your adoptive parents.  It is simply recognition to them that you have your curiosity.  I grew to adulthood with a father who was not my father.  However, he and the family he represented my significant father figure. No attempt was illustrated by he or his family to ignore my genetic father's contribution to my existance. My sire died when I was nine months old, and was included in my origin.  If he had not, my mother would not have married him.

Answer 5

I would call first. She will need time to gather her thoughts and  address her own feeling as well as prepare the family. I hope it turns out well, I'm sure it will. Best Wishes.

You will know what to say when you hear her voice.

Answer 6

i hope you will come join us at adultadoptees.org

you will get support through this from other people who have gone through the same exact thing.

Answer 7

We'll have loads of advice and support for you at:

http://www.adultadoptees.org

Answer 8

I think that you should call her first. She has probably being waiting for you to contact her when you turn 18 years old.

I did not meet my mother until I was 41 years. I knew where she was, but she still had alot of guilt. So I ask her husband could I come and meet her in Dec 1999, and Ask him not to tell her. She was so shock. We talk on the phone all the time.

  When you finally talk to her just let her talk and tell you how she feel.  This is my suggestion I never has ask my Mom why, because to me it is not important. She chose to bring me in this world and I am very thankful for that.

I pray that all will go well, please let me know what you decide.

Pat

Answer 9

I wouldn't show up at the door and letters can fall into the wrong hands.

I called and she was thrilled.  I hope you find a way of making contact that is most comfortable for you.  Here's a link to some advice about first contact:

http://www.adopteesearch.info/contact.ht...

http://www.bmom.net/page16.htm

Answer 10

I would call and ask if this is a good time to speak with her regarding a personal matter.  That way you won't have to reveal her you are to anyone else in the home.  If she's not there, ask when a good time to reach her is and then call back...rather than leave a message.  

If you do speak with her and she is not interested in a relationship with you...for whatever reason, tell her that at the very least you would like to know about your relatives for medical reasons...to know if cancer or heart disease exist in the family etc.  

I hope that she is eager to speak with you.  It sounds like your adoptive parents have raised you well...you seem to be a level headed, smart person.  Good luck!